


this time (we'll make it work)

by tatoeba



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Accidental Dating, Alternate Universe - College/University, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, stupid boys in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-07
Updated: 2019-03-07
Packaged: 2019-11-13 04:20:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18024572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tatoeba/pseuds/tatoeba
Summary: "Only you could accidentally get yourself into a relationship with your own crush and not even realize it, Baekhyun."





	this time (we'll make it work)

**Author's Note:**

> hello i have returned with more baeksoo bc apparently this is all i can write now
> 
> inspired by [this](https://twitter.com/exoauprompts/status/1081188500941221888) prompt! this was meant to be a silly lighthearted fic and instead became.......whatever this is. idk lol. it took me awhile to push through it but i feel satisfied with it now. i hope that you will enjoy it too!
> 
> thank u as always to the wonderful bianca who takes the time to beta and listens to me cry about titles ilu ❤

"Hey, do you think Kyungsoo likes me?" Baekhyun asks quietly, watching as Kyungsoo himself walks into the cafeteria. He waves at Baekhyun when he notices him, and then heads into the kitchen to get food. Baekhyun sighs as he looks after him until Kyungsoo disappears into the lunch crowd, then turns his gaze onto Jongdae who is sitting at the table across from him. He blinks. "What?" he asks, leaning back from Jongdae's astounded look.

"Of _course_ Kyungsoo likes you??" Jongdae says incredulously. "You're _dating_?"

Baekhyun barks out a laugh. "What?" he says, feeling his face flush at the impossibility of such a thing. He waves a hand at Jongdae. "Don't be ridiculous. We're not dating." Baekhyun sighs again, much more deeply. He pushes his tray of food aside and uses the space to instead burrow his face in his arms. "I wish we were dating."

He can still feel Jongdae staring at him, like Baekhyun's grown two heads or something instead of wondering about whether or not the cute boy Baekhyun's had a crush on for two years liked him back. He glances up at Jongdae and mutters, "I know we're friends. I know he likes me _as a friend_ , but--" He huffs, blowing out air from his cheeks hard enough that Jongdae's napkin flies off from his tray and over the edge of the table. Jongdae scowls at him. "But I want more," Baekhyun finishes, his voice itching on a whine.

"Baekhyun, I really think you--"

"Shh," Baekhyun hisses, cutting Jongdae off as he notices Kyungsoo walking toward them, holding his own tray of food in his hands. "Don't mention any of this to him." He kicks Jongdae under the table for good measure as he sits back up and Jongdae yelps, kicks him right back.

"Why are you playing footsie with Jongdae?" Kyungsoo says when he approaches, his lips curving at one corner into one of those pretty smiles of his that Baekhyun loves. He takes the empty seat to Baekhyun's left, setting down his tray and then pulling his backpack off to drop to the ground.

Baekhyun is suddenly hyper-aware of how close Kyungsoo is as he sits down, and his heart rate picks up when Kyungsoo reaches over to brush the hair out of Baekhyun's face and leans over to kiss his cheek.  
"Jongdae started it," Baekhyun blurts out, his response probably too belated to really count, but he never knows what to do when Kyungsoo does something like this. The tiny kisses. The gentle touches. They make butterflies run loose in his stomach, all the way up his chest.

"I did not," Jongdae yells back, kicking Baekhyun again, and Baekhyun whines, scooting instinctively closer to Kyungsoo and clutching at his arm.

"Kyungsoo, he's attacking me," Baekhyun cries, and Kyungsoo, cool as anything, Baekhyun's _hero_ , fixes Jongdae with an even look and says, "Stop bothering him already."

Jongdae rolls his eyes, but he does. Baekhyun grins at him, smug, and rubs his cheek against Kyungsoo's shoulder, dropping his hands so Kyungsoo can use his arm to eat his pasta.

"You guys are gross," Jongdae says after a moment and then stands. "I have class, so I'll see you lovebirds later."

Baekhyun splutters, contemplates throwing his empty coke can at Jongdae as he walks away because Kyungsoo doesn't _know_ about Baekhyun's feelings, and Kyungsoo definitely doesn't feel the same way. Why does Jongdae insist otherwise? Baekhyun needs to find a new best friend.

"Don't you have class soon too?" Kyungsoo asks, dropping a hand to Baekhyun's thigh and squeezing.

Baekhyun feels his mouth go dry at the touch. He nods. "I--uh, I still have some time," he says. "If I leave, who'll keep you company?"

"I can read up for my next class," Kyungsoo says, but he's smiling teasing. "I'll be fine."

Baekhyun scoffs. "I'm way more interesting than any textbook," he says and Kyungsoo laughs, patting Baekhyun's thigh again and sending a flurry of heat through Baekhyun's whole body. He swallows thickly as he glances up at Kyungsoo, meeting his deep, brown eyes. Baekhyun could get lose in those eyes. He has to look away.

"You are," Kyungsoo tells him, and he squeezes Baekhyun's thigh once more before he reaches out for his food again.

Baekhyun lets his eyes slide closed, wills his heart to calm down. It's enough, he tells himself. He might be in love with Kyungsoo, but this--their friendship--is enough.

 

 

-

 

 

Baekhyun has known Kyungsoo since their first year at university. Kyungsoo had been placed as Jongdae's roommate then, and since Baekhyun and Jongdae had been friends since the womb, it was inevitable that Baekhyun would meet and befriend Kyungsoo too.

"Why didn't you guys just room together if you've known each other for so long?" Kyungsoo had asked that first day as Baekhyun had helped lug boxes in from Jongdae's beat up car.

"It's _exactly_ for that reason," Jongdae had said and Baekhyun had slugged him in the arm hard enough for him to shout and Kyungsoo had looked between them and laughed, his eyes curving up behind his dark-framed glasses and his lips forming something close to a heart.

Baekhyun had looked at him and thought he was so cute, but that was it. He'd invited Kyungsoo to lunch with them and Baekhyun's roommate, Chanyeol, and that had been that. The start of a friendship.

When that friendship turned into a crush, into this aching, almost agonizing _like_ , Baekhyun isn't entirely sure. He can't pinpoint one specific moment. Maybe it was halfway through their first year when Kyungsoo had stayed up until four a.m. to help Baekhyun study for an English test. Maybe it was during summer break, when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo spent hours playing Battlegrounds together on the weekends when Kyungsoo didn't have his part-time Starbucks job.

Or maybe it was in their second year, when they had swapped roommates around; Baekhyun with Kyungsoo, Jongdae with Chanyeol, because they hadn't applied fast enough to get one of the two-room apartments for the four of them together. Maybe it was then, when Baekhyun would come back from classes to find Kyungsoo sitting at his desk or at his bed and smiling up at Baekhyun to welcome him home. Or Kyungsoo waking Baekhyun up in the mornings with a gentle brush of his fingers through Baekhyun's hair, most likely followed by a rough shoulder punch.

Maybe it was the afternoon naps they'd take together, when Baekhyun would crawl into Kyungsoo's bed and Kyungsoo wouldn't push him away. Or perhaps it was that time the four of them got drunk on alcohol that Jongdae had stolen from home when he'd gone to visit over the weekend, sprawled around Baekhyun and Kyungsoo's dorm and playing games of truth or dare like they're eleven instead of nineteen, Kyungsoo muffling his laughter into Baekhyun's shoulder, his hands warm against Baekhyun's already flushed skin.

Maybe it was all of those little moments together, piling up on top of each other until one day, Baekhyun looked at Kyungsoo and thought, _wow, I really like him_.

And now, three years later, as Baekhyun makes it through his final year of university, his crush on Kyungsoo has blossomed into something much bigger than he ever imagined possible.

It doesn't help that over the last two weeks, ever since the semester started up after winter break, things have...changed. Something is different. Baekhyun doesn't know what it is, exactly, but Kyungsoo looks at him differently, touches him differently, speaks to him differently. Maybe it's just Baekhyun though. Maybe it's because Baekhyun's been struggling more than usual to keep his feelings under wraps that every interaction with Kyungsoo feels even _more_ than before. More intimate, more gentle, more sweet.

Kyungsoo kisses him, now, sometimes. Just short kisses. Kisses on the cheek, or pressed lightly to Baekhyun's lips. Kisses on his forehead just before they fall asleep together in Baekhyun's bed, even though Kyungsoo's bed is just in the room across the hall in the apartment they share with Jongdae and Chanyeol.

It's everything that Baekhyun wants, everything Baekhyun's dreamt about for a few years now, but it's making it so hard to keep his feelings in check, to not blurt out to Kyungsoo just how much he likes him, just how much he would like all of this to _mean_ something.

Baekhyun groans loudly as he thinks through this all now, lying in his bed on a Tuesday afternoon when the apartment is quiet and he stares up at the pale white ceiling and says, "This is cruel and unusual punishment, isn't it? This is what I get for being a coward and not telling him my feelings for all this time, right?"

Expectedly, the ceiling says nothing back.

Baekhyun throws his pillow at it. "Yeah, well, I didn't want your advice anyway!" he yells.

"What're you doing?" says Kyungsoo's familiar voice, liting in amusement as he appears suddenly in Baekhyun's open doorway.

Baekhyun shrieks and almost falls off his bed. "Don't _do_ that," he exclaims, clutching his chest. "Jesus, Kyungsoo."

"Sorry," Kyungsoo says, but he's smiling in that way that says he's not really that sorry at all, that he's enjoying Baekhyun's distress. He walks into the room, slipping his backpack off his shoulders to set on the floor beside Baekhyun's desk. "Have you just been talking to the ceiling the entire hour I've been in class?"

"Maybe," Baekhyun mumbles, extremely glad that he didn't mention Kyungsoo by name aloud just now. He hopes Kyungsoo didn't hear much of his one-sided conversation.

"Is there something on your mind?" Kyungsoo asks as he joins Baekhyun on his bed, perching at the edge until Baekhyun scoots over to make more room for him.

"You," Baekhyun says without really thinking about it, and hopes it comes out teasingly, like he's just making a joke, like he wasn't _actually_ thinking about Kyungsoo, or how much he likes him, and how much he wants to kiss him and hold his hand and have it be _real_.

Kyungsoo laughs softly, and his eyes are soft as he looks at Baekhyun, like maybe he's pleased, like maybe he's not really surprised. "You're cute," Kyungsoo says and he leans forward to kiss Baekhyun on the mouth before Baekhyun even realizes it.

He gasps, clutches onto the nearest surface which just happens to be Kyungsoo's arm, and holds on as Kyungsoo presses their lips together again and again. Baekhyun's mind spins, his heart races, and he doesn't know what's going on with Kyungsoo, but he likes this, god does he like this, and he can't bring himself to stop it.

He kisses back softly, just enough to feel how warm Kyungsoo's mouth is against his, how he tastes a little of that ginger tea he really likes. He can feel the way Kyungsoo's lips curl into a smile just as they pull apart, and Kyungsoo's gazes down at Baekhyun like he likes him just as much as Baekhyun does and it only makes that knife in Baekhyun's heart twist a bit deeper in his suffering.

"Come on," Kyungsoo says, sliding off the bed. "If you're done talking with the ceiling, you can help me make dinner. I'm thinking zoodles."

"Whatever you want," Baekhyun breathes, following after helplessly.

Hopelessly, too.

 

 

-

 

 

"How's your semester going so far?" Yixing asks two days later, when Baekhyun meets him for a late lunch at a McDonald's just off campus.

Yixing had graduated the year before, along with a couple of Baekhyun's other friends, but he’s the only one still in the area, pursuing a master's degree at Tisch. Baekhyun missed seeing him around as much but they always tried to meet up at least once a week for lunch or coffee when their schedules allowed.

"It's not so bad so far," Baekhyun says with a shrug. "I have some awesome classes this term, but my capstone's gonna kill me."

"You have a build a whole functioning game for that, right?" Yixing asks as he reaches for his drink and takes a sip from the straw. "Do you know what you're making yet?"

"Fuck no," Baekhyun laughs, and Yixing gives him an amused smile. "I mean, I've got some ideas and some designs here and there, but putting them together into an actual game? Why did I think I could do this?"

Yixing hums bemusedly and says, "Probably because you expected all the hours you spend playing games would somehow manifest into being able to create games too?"

Baekhyun groans loudly and runs a hand through his hair. He grabs his burger and takes a big, satisfying bite, enough to make him feel somewhat better about the daunting project he has to complete in a few months time. "I should just quit while I'm ahead and become a pro-gamer," Baekhyun grumbles through his mouthful and Yixing laughs.

"You would be good at that," Yixing says and Baekhyun points a french fry at him and exclaims, "Right? I'd be amazing."

He sighs, pulling off the cap on his vanilla milkshake and dunking the fry into it before popping it into his mouth. "The dream," he says wistfully and Yixing shakes his head even as he smiles.

"Anyway, forget about school. Tell me about Kyungsoo," Yixing says.

Baekhyun blinks at him, another milkshaked-fry halfway to his mouth. "What about Kyungsoo?" he says slowly, then pops that fry in too.

Yixing stares at him. "Just, you know, how's it going with you guys?" he says after a moment, though his brows are knotted in confusion. "I haven't had a chance to talk to him in awhile so--"

"Oh, well, you know how Kyungsoo is," Baekhyun says small laugh. "He forgets to reply to texts all the time. But he's pretty good, I guess? Except he made me start watching that horror show on Netflix last night and I couldn't sleep for hours afterward, so now he's dead to me."

That makes Yixing laugh, and the strange look on his face from earlier has faded away completely. "I'm sure he'll make it up to you," he says.

"Yeah, well, I made him sleep with me just in case the Bent-Neck Lady showed up in my dreams," Baekhyun says easily, remembering how Kyungsoo had wrapped Baekhyun up in his arms and rubbed a hand up and down his back until Baekhyun was lulled into slumber. It’s nothing they haven’t really done before, but it was still nice. Kyungsoo had been so warm. Baekhyun smiles as he thinks about it, even about how Kyungsoo had kissed him on the forehead in the morning before he had left for his first class.

When he glances back up at Yixing, he’s got this peculiar little smile on his face, watching Baekhyun closely like he’s an interesting art piece at a gallery or something. “You really like him, don’t you,” Yixing says, and it’s not really a question, more like a fact. Baekhyun cups his face in his hands, wonders what Yixing is seeing there that made him say such a thing.

But Yixing’s known about Baekhyun’s crush for awhile now, so perhaps it’s not all that strange of a comment to make, and Baekhyun drops his hands when he feels his cheeks warm under his palms and says, “Yes, but don’t tell him that.”

Yixing laughs and Baekhyun settles, smiling back as he dunks another few fries into his milkshake.

 

 

-

 

 

“Oh, come _on_ ,” Chanyeol yells, slamming a hand onto the ping-pong table and making the cups of beer lined along the top wobble precariously.

“Shit, be careful you idiot,” Sehun says, shoving Chanyeol back. Chanyeol wobbles, too, and practically windmills his arms out to balance himself. Baekhyun tries to move away before he’s collateral damage, but he’s not fast enough; one of Chanyeol’s arms winds around his shoulders to steady himself and his weight sends Baekhyun nearly collapsing under him.

“Jesus, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun groans, pushing Chanyeol off of him before they both fall. “How are you this drunk already? We’ve only been here for an hour.”

“I think he pre-gamed with Seulgi before they came over,” says Kyungsoo as he walks around the table and saves Baekhyun from Chanyeol’s drunk ass. Kyungsoo smiles at Baekhyun softly and reaches up to brush back Baekhyun’s hair that has gotten into his face from all the shuffling.

Baekhyun feels his throat run dry, but maybe that’s just because of all the alcohol he’s been drinking. Their game of flip cup seems to have deteriorated, both teams squabbling while Sehun practically shakes Chanyeol into focus. He tears his eyes away to look at Seulgi, arms crossed over her chest as she watches Chanyeol flounder with a fond smile on her face. “Hey Seulgi,” Baekhyun yells. “Take better care of your man.”

“Not even I can help that,” she says, but laughs when Chanyeol loudly whines and walks around the table to plant a slobbery kiss to her cheek.

“All right, all right,” Sehun yells. “Let’s get back to the game! Break it up lovebirds.” He throws one of the empty cups at Chanyeol’s head, then whips around to squint at Baekhyun and Kyungsoo, who is gently squeezing the back of Baekhyun’s neck. Baekhyun had barely even noticed until now, the touch so comforting, so natural. “That means you guys too,” Sehun adds.

Baekhyun squawks, ready to refute Sehun’s _lovebirds_ claim, but when Kyungsoo laughs and leans up to kiss Baekhyun’s cheek, he clams up completely, feeling his whole body burn with warmth. “Okay, I’m going back to my team,” Kyungsoo says, even as he gives Baekhyun’s nape one last squeeze and lets his hand slide down his back as he pulls away.

Kyungsoo grins at him when he returns to his spot on the other side of the table and Baekhyun’s heart stutters in his chest. Sehun snaps his fingers in front of Baekhyun’s face and Baekhyun startles out of it, turning to Sehun who merely huffs. “You guys are so gross,” he grumbles. “Pay attention already.”

“Shut up, you little punk,” Baekhyun says, grabbing Sehun’s arm and lifting it to his mouth to bite.

Sehun laughs and shoves him away, but it all thankfully dissipates the tension, the strange feeling in Baekhyun’s chest. He focuses back on the game, watching as Chanyeol once again tries to flip his cup over from the edge of the table. On the other team, he vaguely notices Jongin downing his drink and then attempting the same. They’re ahead of Baekhyun’s team by one player. It takes Chanyeol two more tries before he finally succeeds, and then it’s Sehun’s turn. He drinks his beer in two large gulps, like it doesn’t affect him at all, but drops his cup to the floor before he can set it at the edge. The other team is loudly cheering as Kyungsoo, the last person in line, grabs his cup to drink, and he grins at Baekhyun over the rim.

“Hurry the fuck up, Sehun,” Baekhyun yells, slapping him roughly on the back, but it only makes Sehun flick his cup too hard, sending it skidding across the table instead. “ _Fuck_!”

“Relax, I got this!” Sehun says, full of fratboy bravado, but he manages to flip his cup over smoothly on his next try.

Kyungsoo is still working on flipping his own, so now Baekhyun has a chance to win this for his team. He downs his drink with a grimace and carefully sets his cup at the edge of the table. His first try fails and Sooyoung yells, “Byun, I know you can do better than that!”

“I’ll never hear the end of it if Jongin fucking wins this,” Sehun adds roughly and Baekhyun wants to comment that it’s just a stupid game of flip cup, but then the other team is yelling loudly because Kyungsoo’s managed to successfully flip his cup over, the red plastic shining proudly from the end of the table.

Baekhyun groans and gives his cup a sad, feeble flick anyway. It just tips over and rolls off the table. Chanyeol shoves him, but he’s laughing. Sehun collapses halfway over the table, and Jongin reaches across to shake his shoulders, gleeful smile stretched across his face.

“Sorry guys,” Baekhyun says with a shrug, but he’s grinning too. He catches Kyungsoo’s eyes and feels his smile tug wider. Kyungsoo looks pretty proud of himself as Yeri and Seulgi both thank him for the win.

Baekhyun licks his lips, glancing away when Kyungsoo’s gaze gets too heavy. He mumbles something about getting some water from the kitchen and Wendy and Seulgi both yell at him to bring him a few bottles too. He gives them both a cheeky salute and heads off into the throng of the crowded fraternity. Baekhyun doesn’t really come out to parties like this that often anymore, but it’d been an exceptionally long week and when Sehun had told him about it, egging him to come over, Baekhyun wasn’t able to resist for very long.

He’s glad he came. There’s nothing like some alcohol and silly party games to get over the stress of school. Besides, Baekhyun thinks the drinking makes it easier to deal with all of Kyungsoo’s weird...Kyungsoo-ness. The touching, the stares. When he’s drunk, he can handle it a little easier. It doesn’t make him want to cry out in agony quite as much.

In the kitchen, he grabs a handful of water bottles from the fridge, stops to chat for a few moments with Amber when he runs into her. She invites him to a show she’s doing at a small dive bar just off campus next weekend and Baekhyun says he’ll do his best to come, waving a water bottle at her as he heads back the way he came, wondering if maybe Kyungsoo would want to go with him.

He’s thinking about asking when he returns to his group, but finds himself stopping right in his tracks when his eyes land on Kyungsoo, still standing where he’d last been, but talking with someone new.

Jihyun is a pretty girl in Kyungsoo’s department. Baekhyun’s met her before, once or twice, when he’d stopped by the library to pick Kyungsoo up for dinner. She’s tucking her long black hair behind her ear as she talks to him now, the jewels of her dangling earring sparkling at the movement, almost as bright as her smile as she reaches out to touch Kyungsoo’s elbow.

And Kyungsoo, he’s laughing at whatever she’s just said, his eyes curving cutely and his shoulders lifting to his ears in his mirth. It’s the way he laughs when something’s really funny, his face bright and expressive. The way he laughs at Baekhyun’s jokes, even when they’re not really that good.

Baekhyun watches with a sinking feeling in his gut. His holds the bottles of water in his hands a little tighter. Kyungsoo leans in to whisper something into Jihyun’s ear, and Baekhyun _knows_ it’s only because it’s so loud in the house, but the way it shifts them both a little closer, Jihyun’s hand still on Kyungsoo’s arm, it has this ugly, unpleasant creature roaring in Baekhyun’s chest.

He wants to walk over and break them up. He wants to slink back to the kitchen and down the bottle of vodka he saw on the counter. He wants to go back home and curl up in his bed and not think about how much he likes Kyungsoo and wishes Kyungsoo would look at him the way he’s looking at Jihyun right now.

It’s stupid. The jealousy. The inadequacy. Jihyun’s pretty. They look good together. Kyungsoo is smiling at her softly, like the way he’d smiled at Baekhyun earlier, saving him from Chanyeol, but different, somehow. Baekhyun can’t put his finger on it, but maybe that’s the smile he gives people he’s interested in. Maybe Baekhyun should go over and wingman for him.

That thought makes him feel sick, so he throws it out as quickly as it came. Instead he squares his shoulders, plasters a smile onto his face, and walks toward his friends, holding his arms up in the air and yelling, “I’ve returned!”

“Took you long enough,” Wendy scolds, swatting Baekhyun in the chest but then smiling her thanks when she takes the bottle from him. He hands the other one to Seulgi, who has a very drunk and clingy Chanyeol draped over her.

“Want me to pour this one over his head?” Baekhyun offers, gesturing with the last bottle in his hand, and Seulgi laughs.

“Thanks, but I think I got it,” she says, giving him a little conspiratory wink, and pats Chanyeol’s cheek gently when he whines at her again.

Baekhyun leaves them to their cute flirting, heading around the ping-pong table toward Kyungsoo instead. That angry creature in his chest fades back a bit when Kyungsoo catches his eye and widely grins, turning slightly away from Jihyun to welcome Baekhyun back.

“Did you get lost?” Kyungsoo teases, resting his arm around Baekhyun’s waist easily.

The touch makes Baekhyun shiver slightly, but he hopes Kyungsoo doesn’t notice. He shakes his head and replies, “Nah, just ran into Amber. She invited me to her show next week. Do you wanna go?”

Kyungsoo’s eyes light up as he nods. “Sounds fun,” he says and he’s gently rubbing his thumb against Baekhyun’s hip now. It’s soothing enough that Baekhyun finds himself melting into Kyungsoo’s side, enjoying the warmth of his body. He blames it on the alcohol finally catching up to him. “It’s a date,” Kyungsoo adds in a soft voice, and Baekhyun blames the alcohol too for the way he feels his face heat up.

He glances at Jihyun, who is watching them closely with a peculiar smile on her face, and wants to tell her that it’s not _really_ a date, but the words don’t seem to come out. Instead he cracks open the water bottle and takes a few, much-needed gulps, and almost drops the bottle entirely when Kyungsoo pulls it from his hand after and drinks some as well.

It’s stupidly juvenile that Baekhyun’s first thought is how this is totally an indirect kiss, especially since they’ve _actually_ kissed before, and the last time had been earlier that very same night, when Kyungsoo had smoothed down the front of Baekhyun’s shirt at their apartment, told him he looked handsome, and kissed him on the mouth.

Kyungsoo hands Baekhyun the water bottle back like it’s nothing, turning to Jihyun again to pick up where their conversation must’ve left off, something about an upcoming project in one of their shared classes. He’s still touching Baekhyun, still gently caressing his hip, and Baekhyun takes another drink of water, thinking he might need more alcohol to deal with all of this.

The rest of the night goes by in a blur. Baekhyun drinks more, plays another round of flip cup when Sehun drags him back, and ends up dancing in the living room with a pretty blond girl who lives down the hall from his apartment. He’s pretty sure Kyungsoo watches him for some of it, but that only makes Baekhyun more desperate to find someone else to focus on instead. He sings loudly along to that song from Frozen when it inexplicably plays throughout the house, and does get his hands on some of that vodka he saw in the kitchen earlier. Jihyun has stuck around, and every time Kyungsoo smiles at her, Baekhyun’s stomach rolls unpleasantly like he might be sick.

It’s late when Kyungsoo drags Baekhyun home. Chanyeol’s gone back with Seulgi to her place, and they lost Jongdae hours ago, only to find him passed out on the couch, snoring loudly when they walk through the door.

“If he fucking had sex on that couch, I’m gonna murder him,” Kyungsoo says, and Baekhyun giggles drunkenly into his shoulder as he follows Kyungsoo to his bedroom he shares with Chanyeol.

“You know I have my own bed,” Baekhyun mumbles, even as he sinks blissfully into Kyungsoo’s mattress and hugs one of his pillows to his chest.

“I know,” Kyungsoo laughs softly as he unbuttons his jeans and slips them off. That’s smart, Baekhyun thinks, and abandons Kyungsoo’s pillow in his effort to shimmy his own jeans down his legs. He throws his shirt off as well because who needs clothing anyway, right? It’s far too warm too, all the alcohol in Baekhyun’s veins making him flushed and sleepy.

He collapses back in Kyungsoo’s bed and makes himself comfy, watching blearily through the darkness as Kyungsoo sets his glasses onto his desk and then climbs into bed beside him. Kyungsoo tugs the covers up and lets his hand fall to Baekhyun’s arm, brushing along his skin to his shoulder. Baekhyun’s eyes flutter closed and he can’t help but remember how Kyungsoo had touched Jihyun like that too, not more than an hour ago, when he’d walked in on them in the kitchen while looking for more beer.

“Jihyun is pretty,” Baekhyun whispers, loose-lipped. Baekhyun thinks he remembers her laughing at something Kyungsoo had said, tugging at his hands to get him to dance with her, too.

There’s a moment of silence, but then Kyungsoo says, “She is.”

“You guys look cute together,” Baekhyun says because it’s easier to admit in the dark, when he can’t see Kyungsoo’s expression, when his mouth is running off the alcohol in his body instead of his brain.

Kyungsoo lets out a huff of a laugh, sounding almost incredulous. The heat of his breath brushes against Baekhyun’s forehead. The hand that had stilled on Baekhyun’s shoulder, moves up to brush back his hair instead, soft and soothing, like he’s comforting Baekhyun, or indulging Baekhyun of his drunken thoughts. “I think you’re pretty too, Baekhyun,” is all he says, but somehow it’s enough to have Baekhyun’s heart swelling happily in his chest.

There’s a smile on his lips as he falls asleep.

 

 

-

 

 

“I regret everything,” Baekhyun moans the following day. It’s well into the afternoon, but Baekhyun’s only just woken up, tangled in Kyungsoo’s bedsheets with a massive headache that threatens to split his skull open.

Fingers slip through Baekhyun’s hair, gently rubbing against his scalp. It helps. He blearily blinks the sleep from his eyes and gazes up to find Kyungsoo smiling down at him. “That’s what you get for not being responsible,” he says, but his tone is soft and kind of indulgent. Baekhyun must look extremely pitiful.

“Be nice to me,” Baekhyun whines anyway and he instinctively reaches out for Kyungsoo, curling his fingers around his arms and tugging him down into bed again. Kyungsoo, he realizes, is already dressed, and smelling like his citrusy body wash. Baekhyun probably still stinks like all the alcohol he had last night. He only feels marginally bad about dragging Kyungsoo into his arms. He’s so warm and it feels nice. “Stay here for awhile,” he mumbles into Kyungsoo’s hair.

Kyungsoo hums, like he’s considering it. His hand slides up Baekhyun’s stomach and Baekhyun belatedly realizes he’s only wearing his underwear, flashes of last night appear before his eyes, how he’d drunkenly stripped before getting into bed, how he’d whispered stupid things into the darkness. He shakes the thoughts away, but that only agitates the headache, and he moans sadly as Kyungsoo chuckles, pulling Baekhyun into his chest and letting his fingers slip back into his hair.

“Just until Chanyeol finishes lunch,” he says then. “You should eat something. And shower.”

“Are you saying I smell?”

“Yes,” Kyungsoo laughs, then his voice turns a little sly, sliding a leg between Baekhyun’s as he says, “I can join you in the shower if you’d like.”

That pulls up _far_ too many images that Baekhyun’s sleepy-hungover brain can even think to process right now. He barks out a laugh and swats Kyungsoo in the chest. “I think I can manage,” he says loudly, maybe a little panicky. He has to force the thoughts out of his head. Think about Chanyeol’s stupid ears or Jongdae’s high-pitched whining. Jongin’s gross feet because he never wears socks. Yes, that one definitely helps, and he wrinkles his nose even as a laugh spills from his mouth.

“What’s so funny?” Kyungsoo asks, but Baekhyun isn’t sure how to even explain his recent train of thought so he just shrugs and sings, “Nothing~” as if that will convince Kyungsoo.

It doesn’t, of course. “Come on,” he says, digging his fingers into Baekhyun’s sides. “Tell me.”

“No!” Baekhyun wails, laughing even more from Kyungsoo’s tickling, the pounding in his head even worse, but Kyungsoo’s pretty smile somehow making it worth it.

That’s how Chanyeol finds them a few minutes later, writhing on the bed and screeching, and he stares down at them from the door and says, “Whenever you’re done being gross, food is ready.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says easily, even as he pinches one of Baekhyun’s nipples and sends him reeling, a surprised yelp ringing loudly in the room.

Chanyeol shakes his head at them as he leaves. Kyungsoo smiles widely down at Baekhyun, smoothing his fingers down Baekhyun’s sternum. Anxious heat spreads through Baekhyun’s body. The way Kyungsoo is looking at him is almost unnerving.

Baekhyun tears his eyes away, coughs slightly to break the spell. “I should shower,” he says. Thankfully Kyungsoo seems to agree, sliding off from where he’d been straddling Baekhyun’s legs so they can both climb off the bed.

“Sure you don’t want the company?” Kyungsoo says, and his plush lips are curved into a teasing smirk.

“Shut up!” Baekhyun exclaims and stomps out of the room, locking himself in the bath before Kyungsoo can try to follow him.

His face his red when he catches sight of himself in the mirror. He cups his cheeks, stares at his slightly wild reflection, and then sighs deeply, watches as his chest rises and falls. He scrubs his face with his hands and groans. He doesn’t understand what’s going on.

A shower helps though. Clears his mind and his body and leaves him feeling much more alive than he did twenty minutes ago. Things are still confusing, but somehow less daunting now, and Baekhyun thinks he can face the day, face Kyungsoo. He darts back into his room butt naked, cackling when Chanyeol yells after him about indecency, and changes into a fresh pair of clothes. It’s a Saturday. Baekhyun has nowhere to be, so some sweats and a t-shirt do the trick. He grabs his NYU hoodie to throw on over to battle the winter cold.

The apartment smells like garlic when Baekhyun heads for the kitchen. Chanyeol’s pulling garlic bread from the oven and Kyungsoo is spooning out some kind of pasta dish onto a plate. Jongdae is already eating, tomato sauce around his lips. Kyungsoo throws a napkin at Jongdae once he’s set his plate down and Jongdae laughs but dutifully wipes his face.

“Need any help?” Baekhyun asks Chanyeol, who passes the tray of garlic bread over to Baekhyun to take to the table. Baekhyun glances around at all of them as they settle to eat and says, “Why aren’t the rest of you as hungover as me?”

Chanyeol snorts. “Because you’re a lightweight,” he says.

“And we all know how to pace ourselves better,” Jongdae adds.

“Don’t listen to them,” Kyungsoo says. “They were up before ten whining like babies. Chanyeol almost knocked your toothbrush into the toilet in his haste to puke.”

“What!” Baekhyun exclaims as Jongdae and Chanyeol both yell at Kyungsoo for revealing their secrets. “I just brushed my teeth with that!”

“Don’t worry, I saved it before it fell,” Kyungsoo reassures him and Baekhyun sags in relief. “Did you think I’d leave it there if I hadn’t?”

“My hero,” Baekhyun titters teasingly and cackles when that only makes both Jongdae and Chanyeol groan at the cringyness. Kyungsoo looks at Baekhyun kind of fondly though, a smile at his lips, then glances back down at his plate. His ears are a little pink. Baekhyun pushes aside the swooping feeling in his stomach and reaches for the pasta to take just a small portion onto his own plate. He _feels_ hungry, but he’s not entirely sure how much his stomach can handle yet.

Lunch passes by loudly over the next hour or so, as it usually is when the four of them are together. It doesn’t help Baekhyun’s headache much, but he doesn’t mind it, enjoying the chance to hang out with everyone before responsibilities take them away. Jongdae’s meeting some classmates to work on a group project at the library, and Chanyeol’s planning to hole himself up in one of the practice rooms at the music building.

“I’m going back to sleep,” is what Baekhyun says when they ask him his plans and Jongdae snorts, mutters, “Of course,” under his breath.

“Don’t you have a paper due next week?” Kyungsoo says.

“Yeah, a whole week away,” Baekhyun says, shrugging. “I’ll get to it eventually.”

“It’s too early in the semester for senioritis,” Kyungsoo chides him, and he bumps his foot against Baekhyun’s under the table.

Baekhyun doesn’t pull away. He laughs and says, “I’ve had senioritis since sophomore year.”

Everyone laughs at that, because it’s true. Kyungsoo just shakes his head but doesn’t lecture Baekhyun further, so Baekhyun considers that a win. He stretches his arms over his head and and lets out a deep breath, then stands. “I’ll do the dishes since you cooked,” he says, taking his empty plate, and Jongdae’s when he holds his out, to the sink.

Kyungsoo and Chanyeol help pack away the leftovers while Jongdae sits on the counter by the sink and supervises Baekhyun because he insists he can’t be trusted with household chores. Baekhyun flicks soapy water into his face for the comment.

By the time Chanyeol and Jongdae have packed up their backpacks to head out, Baekhyun _is_ feeling tired again, stomach full and headache still a dull throb against his temples. Studying for anything is out of the question and even though he could probably play a game or something, all he really wants is to collapse in bed for awhile.

“Are you gonna leave me all alone here?” Baekhyun asks Kyungsoo, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist from behind as he pours himself a glass of water.

“No,” Kyungsoo says. “I do need to study though.”

“You can study,” Baekhyun says. “I’ll nap in your bed.”

Kyungsoo hums thoughtfully, brings his glass to his lips for a drink. Baekhyun can just see the way Kyungsoo’s adam’s apple bobs in his throat from where he’s perched his chin on Kyungsoo’s shoulder. It makes his own throat feel a little dry suddenly. “All right,” Kyungsoo says after, “but let me change the sheets first. They stink from last night.”

It’s not the first time Baekhyun has dozed off in Kyungsoo’s bed while Kyungsoo does his homework at his desk, the soft click-clacking of his fingers on his laptop keyboard strangely soothing. He plays a few games on his phone, posts a picture of the back of Kyungsoo’s head to his instagram story and captions it _he’s ignoring me :(_ even though Kyungsoo probably won’t ever see it, and rolls around in Kyungsoo’s bed to make himself more comfortable.

He dozes off eventually, and when he wakes again, Kyungsoo is lying beside him in bed, sliding a yellow highlighter across a page in his textbook. “Still studying?” Baekhyun mumbles sleepily as he rolls over onto his side and throws a leg across Kyungsoo’s right. “How long was I asleep?”

“Hmm, maybe an hour,” Kyungsoo says, snapping the cap back onto his highlighter, tucking the pen into the crease of the book, and closing it shut. He sets it aside and then turns to Baekhyun, reaches out to brush Baekhyun’s bangs from his face. “But since you’re awake again, I could be convinced to do something else.”

Baekhyun sighs into Kyungsoo’s touch. “Like what?” he says. “Snuggle? You’re really warm.”

That draws a small chuckle from Kyungsoo’s mouth. “Sure,” he says, almost indulgently, scooting down in the bed so he’s level with Baekhyun, “let’s snuggle.”

Baekhyun hums gleefully, burrowing himself into Kyungsoo’s chest and enjoying the heat from his body as it melts into his. Baekhyun loves cuddling in general, and with Kyungsoo it should be unnerving in some ways, considering his feelings, but it just sort of makes him feel safe. Happy. Kyungsoo is the perfect mix of solid and soft, strong chest and thighs, but gentle hands that slide up Baekhyun’s back and tender lips that press against his temple, his cheek, his chin.

Baekhyun’s not sure who kisses who first, but they are kissing, suddenly, like maybe this is what Kyungsoo had in mind all along when he set aside his book and pulled Baekhyun close. Baekhyun’s still so messed up about this, but he can’t deny how much he likes it, how nice Kyungsoo’s mouth feels against his, how fully he kisses Baekhyun like there’s no one else in the world he’d rather kiss. So Baekhyun goes along with it, enjoying it, liking it, wanting it, and maybe that’s the wrong decision because when Kyungsoo’s hand slides down Baekhyun’s front, and slips under his shirt to press against the soft plains of Baekhyun’s stomach, Baekhyun panics.

They’ve never--in all this time, the few weeks that this has been going on, they’ve never done anything more than kissing, than holding hands, than cuddling. Kyungsoo sliding his hand under Baekhyun’s shirt shouldn’t be that surprising, not really, because Baekhyun does that kind of stuff to Chanyeol and Jongdae all the time when they’re playing around, but this, right now, this is different. With Kyungsoo kissing him, trailing his lips along Baekhyun’s neck, his breath hot against his skin like he’s breathing out fire instead of air, Baekhyun heart is racing for vastly different reasons than minutes before.

And when Kyungsoo’s hand slides downwards, turning just enough that his fingertips dip beneath the waistband of Baekhyun’s sweats, Baekhyun knows he can’t do this. They haven’t even talked about this! He doesn’t know what’s happening, how things have gotten to this point, and he can’t, he can’t, he--

“Are you hungry?” Baekhyun blurts out, grabbing onto the first lifeline that appears in his head. He pushes Kyungsoo back as gently as he can and rolls off the bed so quickly he almost falls to the floor. He laughs roughly, running a hand through his hair as he avoids Kyungsoo’s stare. “I want some ice cream or something. Bubble tea? Something sweet, yeah. That sounds really good. You in?”

“Baekhyun--” Kyungsoo starts, but Baekhyun is already marching out of Kyungsoo’s room to his own, looking for his phone and wallet. He doesn’t hear Kyungsoo come after him and that makes him feel like a bit of an ass, but he just--He can’t do this anymore.

His heart is pounding loudly in his chest. It aches him to have pushed Kyungsoo away, but Baekhyun is so confused. He doesn't know what's been happening between them. They've only ever kissed. Sure, Baekhyun has thought about more, but not--not like this. Not without discussion, and understanding. Not when everything feels so jumbled up inside of him.

Kyungsoo is still sitting on his bed when Baekhyun returns to his room and Baekhyun's gut lurches at how small and how unsure he looks, like he thinks Baekhyun doesn't want to be with him or have sex with him, or whatever it was he wanted to do. And Baekhyun wishes he could tell him that's not true, that he _does_ want it, whatever it is, but he just can't right now. Not right now.

"Come on, babe," Baekhyun says, the endearment falling from his lips easily, like he's always meant to say it, and it seems enough to startle Kyungsoo from his thoughts. He peers up at Baekhyun, a little guarded. Baekhyun is already determined to break that wall down again by the end of the day. "I'll even pay," he says, brandishing his wallet and grinning when that successfully makes Kyungsoo smile.

"You really must be hungry then, even though we just had lunch," he teases, but finally stands, and Baekhyun, wanting to make sure things are okay between them, steps forward and gives Kyungsoo the slightest peck on the lips.

It’s barely anything, but Kyungsoo seems to melt into it, a little wisp of a sigh escaping his lips. He steps back after a moment and looks up at Baekhyun, part fond, part curious. Baekhyun hopes he doesn’t ask. At least not yet. A long moment passes. Then, “Let me grab my coat," is all Kyungsoo says.

As they head out of the apartment and down the street, the winter chill biting their cheeks, Kyungsoo grabs one of Baekhyun's hands and shoves them both into his own coat pocket. Baekhyun grins, lacing their fingers together and looking out resolutely down the snowy sidewalks, thinking that although things are okay right now, he’s not so sure that’s enough anymore. He wants more than okay. He wants things to be _good_ , and he wants the truth. He wants to know what’s going on, what’s changed for Kyungsoo. If all this touching and kissing will ever lead to real, proper relationship. He can’t stay in this limbo any longer.

He needs to be brave and he needs to confess.

But first, ice cream.

 

 

-

 

 

“Hey, do you think Kyungsoo's been acting weird lately?” Baekhyun asks a few days later, when he and Chanyeol are waiting at Starbucks for Jongdae and Kyungsoo to arrive for a quick snack before they head to see a movie. The theater near campus has discounted tickets on Tuesday nights. Baekhyun’s glad for the chance to talk to Chanyeol alone, hopefully to get some more insight into his Kyungsoo-problem before he finally talks to Kyungsoo directly.

“Hmm,” Chanyeol says around the straw of his drink. “Not really, why?”

Baekhyun scratches his nail down the tabletop next to his own drink. “I don’t know,” he says, unsure of how to explain everything without just coming clean. “Something seems off.”

Chanyeol hums again and sets his drink down, reaches for the muffin he bought and breaks off a piece to pop into his mouth. “Well, other than the two of you being grossly lovey-dovey lately, I haven’t really noticed anything,”

“Actually that, that’s it,” Baekhyun says. “Isn’t all of that weird?”

Chanyeol tilts his head to the side, confused. There are crumbs on his lips. “Why?” he says after a moment. “Why would that be weird?”

Baekhyun stares at him, opens his mouth to explain, but closes it again when he can’t find the right words.

Chanyeol lets out a huff of a laugh, like he’s not sure where this conversation is going. He picks at his muffin again with his large fingers. “I admit when Kyungsoo first told me you guys were dating I was surprised, but like, not because it wasn’t totally obvious you were into each other. I just thought it’d take you like, five more years to ever--why are you looking at me like that?”

“ _Kyungsoo_ told you we’re dating?” Baekhyun hisses, his stomach churning unpleasantly. He grips the edge of the table tightly like he needs something to hold onto or else he’ll pass out.

Now Chanyeol is looking at Baekhyun like he’s grown another head, much like the way Jongdae had looked at Baekhyun over a week ago in the cafeteria, and oh god, if Kyungsoo told Chanyeol they were dating, then he must’ve told Jongdae. No wonder he was so confused by Baekhyun’s question that day. “Uh, yes?” Chanyeol says, sounding completely befuddled. “What the fuck, Baekhyun, why are you acting like you didn’t know--Wait, did you not...know?”

“No!” Baekhyun exclaims, “oh my _god_.” He suddenly feels like he can’t breathe, like the entire world under his feet has shifted on its axis. Is he dreaming? Is this an alternate reality? Maybe he hit his head on something and blacked out. Maybe he’s been drugged.

He’s jolted from his messy thoughts by a sudden touch against the back of his neck. “Hey,” says Kyungsoo’s warm voice, but Baekhyun’s insides suddenly feel like ice. He jerks away, banging his knees against the table and sending his drink toppling right over, coffee spilling across the smooth wood.

“Shit,” Baekhyun says, but he can only stare down at the mess forlornly as his heart pounds loudly in his ears and Chanyeol and Jongdae end up grabbing napkins to clean up. “Fuck, I--I have to go,” he mutters, practically jumping out of his chair. He’s pulled on his coat and is out the door before any of his friends can stop him, even though he hears Jongdae’s shouting his name. He makes it to the end of the block before Kyungsoo’s caught up to him, fingers curling firmly around Baekhyun’s elbow.

“Baekhyun,” he says, tugging him back from the edge of the curb. “Hey, what’s wrong? Did something happen? Do I need to punch Chanyeol for you?”

The concern in his voice, in the furrow of his brow, and his ridiculous but honest offer has Baekhyun huffing out an incredulous laugh even as he blurts out, “Are we dating?”

Kyungsoo blinks behind his glasses, clearly not expecting that. “What kind of question is that?”

“Just answer me,” Baekhyun pleads, desperate. As much as he wants to be dating Kyungsoo, he doesn’t want it like _this_ , when he didn’t even know, and he almost wishes this is some big prank, some joke they’re all in on, anything other than--

“Yes,” Kyungsoo says, and that single word has Baekhyun feeling like he’s been run over by one of the cars passing by the street beside them.

“Yes, Baekhyun, of course we’re dating,” he says disbelievingly, his grip around Baekhyun’s arm tightening as if to confirm to himself that Baekhyun is really there, that this is actually happening. Maybe he’s hoping this is all a joke too.

“Oh my god,” Baekhyun breathes. It’s far too cold to be having this conversation outside, but the sudden knowledge of everything has left Baekhyun so numb he barely even feels it. “That’s why--All this time-- _fuck_.”

Kyungsoo releases Baekhyun’s arm suddenly like he’s been burned. He takes a step back, staring up at Baekhyun in bewilderment. Baekhyun can almost _see_ the pieces coming together in Kyungsoo’s eyes. “Wait,” he slowly says. “Did you...Did you not know? I--How could you have not known, Baekhyun? We--We _talked_ about it!”

“ _What_? When?” Baekhyun loudly says because he honestly cannot remember even a moment of time when he and Kyungsoo had that conversation, the kind of conversation he's been dreaming about having for years. There's no way. He would _remember_.

“When we got back from break?” Kyungsoo says, eyes wild in his disbelief. “We were in your room! Jongdae and Chanyeol were still finishing our movie marathon and we’d been drinking a little but you said--you said you weren't drunk and you--you told me…”

He trails off, perhaps at the way Baekhyun’s undoubtedly staring blankly at him, or because that puzzle he’s been piecing together is telling him that Baekhyun really didn’t know. He takes another step back. Baekhyun’s heart breaks. Kyungsoo in his large, puffy winter coat and glasses, looks small and unsure like he did just a few days ago, sitting on his bed when Baekhyun had pulled away from him.

“You...You really didn't know,” Kyungsoo says in a quiet voice but when Baekhyun shakes his head, the despair in Kyungsoo’s eyes turns to steel. “What the fuck, Baekhyun?” he says, and he sounds pissed, the way he does when Baekhyun forgets to do the dishes for too long or Chanyeol wakes him up too early in the mornings. It’s not a sound that Baekhyun enjoys. “What did you think I was doing this whole time?”

“I--I don't know!” Baekhyun says, but he knows that’s barely an excuse, sounds pathetic to his own ears over the rush of traffic along the street beside them. “I just thought you were being friendly or--”

“Friendly?” Kyungsoo says. “Have you ever seen me act the way I have with you over the past few weeks with anyone else?”

Baekhyun thinks about it. Really thinks about it. Thinks about every time Kyungsoo kissed him and smiled at him and touched him gently on the arm, the back of his neck, his cheek, fingers in his hair. Tries desperately to find any instance where he did the same as frequently to anyone else. There's the usual punches he gives Chanyeol or the ruffling of hair to Jongin and Sehun. There's the moments he'll rest his head against Jongdae's shoulder, but whenever Baekhyun walks into the room and sits down beside him, Kyungsoo will move, shift over and slide a hand along Baekhyun's thigh to take his hand in his and trade Jongdae's shoulder for Baekhyun's instead.

He thinks about that party and how cozy Kyungsoo seemed with Jihyun, how upset it made Baekhyun that night. Except looking back at it now, knowing what it knows, he can’t believe he’d been so stupid. The way Kyungsoo watched over Baekhyun all night, the way Kyungsoo brightened up when he returned with water and slid an arm around his waist, the way he never left Baekhyun’s side for long. Even if he was talking with someone else, he would always look back to check on him, tapping his elbow, sliding a hand down his back, tugging on his ear, his touch warm and lingering.

“Fuck,” Baekhyun whispers, stunned at how _blind_ he’s been. He stares at Kyungsoo helplessly but Kyungsoo's jaw is set and he's shaking his head as he backs away once again. “Kyungsoo, I--”

“I can't do this right now,” Kyungsoo cuts over him, and he no longer sounds mad. Just broken. Baekhyun’s not sure which is worse. “I have to go.”

Baekhyun doesn't blame him. He nods but says nothing and watches until Kyungsoo turns and walks back down the street from where they came, until he disappears into the distance and Baekhyun’s heart is as numb as the rest of his body in the cold, winter evening.

 

 

-

 

 

He doesn't go home, because home has Chanyeol and Jongdae and Kyungsoo, although he’s not sure if they returned home or went to see the movie without him. It doesn’t matter. Baekhyun doesn’t really want to see any of them right now anyway. Baekhyun calls up Yixing first, but when Yixing doesn't answer, Baekhyun finds himself knocking on the door of Sehun and Jongin’s frat, where the lingering scent of cheap booze somehow cuts through the heartache.

"You look like shit," Sehun says in way of greeting, but whines when Jongin smacks him in the back of the head and tugs Baekhyun inside.

“Did you and Kyungsoo get into a fight?” Jongin asks once the three of them are cuddled up in Jongin’s bed, Sehun and Jongin’s long, lanky limbs holding Baekhyun snugly in place.

It’s not the same as cuddling with Kyungsoo, but it’ll do.

“Does _everyone_ think that we’re dating?” Baekhyun wonders aloud, even though he didn’t particularly mean to talk about this with them. Maybe he should though. Maybe they can tell him how this all happened.

“Uh,” Jongin says. “Are you _not_ dating?”

Baekhyun thinks of Kyungsoo’s soft, sweet kisses, and the days they spent together, holding hands, watching Netflix in Kyungsoo’s bed, meeting each other in between classes even just for a few minutes. “I’m not sure anymore,” he says.

“What the fuck,” Sehun says and Baekhyun huffs out a laugh, because, yeah. Exactly.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Jongin asks and Baekhyun lets out a deep breath, closing his eyes, but all he sees there in the darkness of his mind is Kyungsoo’s sad, broken expression.

“Not...Not right now,” he says, and neither of them question him further. Instead they hold him a little tighter and Sehun tells him about how one of the guys in their frat broke his leg because he was drunk and attempting to climb out his second story bedroom window, all the while singing Lady Gaga songs from like ten years ago.

“He was still singing when the ambulance came,” Sehun says, and Baekhyun laughs so hard he starts crying, but he’s not entirely sure that’s because the story is all that funny, or because his own Kyungsoo-feelings are leaking out from the faulty box he’s shoved them in.

He wipes the few tears away hastily before either Jongin or Sehun notice and wills himself to not think about Kyungsoo at all. “Tell me what else has been going on in this crazy house of yours,” Baekhyun laughs and they both eagerly comply, talking over each other as they recount the many ridiculous tales that have gone on in the past few weeks that Baekhyun hasn’t heard about.

It’s just what he needs to keep his mind off Kyungsoo and the ache in his chest.

He spends most of the night there, eventually playing video games with Sehun and Jongin and some of the other guys in their house while stuffing large slices of pizza into his mouth. He washes it down with some beer but doesn’t drink as much as he did the week before, even though getting drunk sounds rather appealing at the moment. Maybe it’ll wash away the horrible conversation he had with Kyungsoo. Maybe it’ll erase the past couple of weeks entirely and things can go back to how they were before. When Kyungsoo and Baekhyun were just friends who were close but didn’t kiss or do any of the other things they’ve done recently, because as much as Baekhyun _enjoyed_ it, knowing the truth of it all, and the awful misunderstanding between them, makes it feel so much worse now.

He returns back home well after midnight, wincing as he turns the key through the lock and creaks open the door. The apartment is dark and silent, so of course Baekhyun stumbles over someone’s shoes in the hallway and slams loudly into the nearest wall. He leans there with baited breath, but the silence persists, and he lets out a deep sigh.

His bedroom is as dark as the rest of the apartment. He can make out Jongdae’s lifeless form in the bed furthest from the door. Baekhyun swallows thickly, pulling off his coat, and collapses face first into his cool sheets.

“Baekhyun?” comes Jongdae’s muffled voice, piercing Baekhyun’s chest. He didn’t think Jongdae was awake and has no interest to talk with him right now. He doesn’t want to know what Kyungsoo’s told him, if he said anything at all. “Is that you?”

Baekhyun bites his lip and doesn’t answer.

There’s a long, staggering pause. Then Jongdae’s mattress squeaks as he undoubtedly moves around, the rustling of blankets as he pulls them up to his shoulders. “You’re such an idiot,” Jongdae says, sounding kind of exasperated and also sleepy, like maybe he’s talking to the Baekhyun in his dreams instead of the one lying in bed just a few feet away.

It doesn’t matter. Dream Baekhyun and Real Baekhyun are equally stupid, and Baekhyun squeezes his eyes shut tight and tries desperately not to think about Kyungsoo and how he’s fucked everything up.

 

 

-

 

 

It’s not as hard to avoid Kyungsoo as Baekhyun expected, but that might only be because Kyungsoo seems to be avoiding him, too.

That knowledge hurts, but Baekhyun’s not surprised by it. Baekhyun wants to give him some space, and Baekhyun needs his _own_ space, just to sort through everything that’s going on in his head, and everything that he’s learned since he and Kyungsoo last talked.

For nearly four whole weeks, Kyungsoo thought he and Baekhyun were dating. That’s a long time, both for Kyungsoo to believe they were in a real, mutual relationship, and for Baekhyun to not even realize what had happened between them. It doesn’t even seem possible that something like this could even happen. This is the plot of shoujo manga or bad fanfiction, not real life.

And the worst of it is that Baekhyun isn’t sure how to fix it. How does he tell Kyungsoo that he does want to date him for real? Would Kyungsoo even believe him now? Would Kyungsoo even want to date him anymore?

The thought of rejection hurts even worse now than it did when Baekhyun didn’t think Kyungsoo was interested in him at all.

Baekhyun drops his head onto his book with a groan, all these thoughts running through his head making it difficult to focus on work. He had dragged himself to the library to get out of the apartment and hoped that focusing on his assignments would make him stop feeling like such absolute crap, but it hasn’t been working very well.

Granted, he _has_ finished some of his homework, but he’s starting to get antsy now. The library is too quiet. He can’t stretch or yawn or mutter to himself without distracting the other students around. He could check if one of the small study rooms are open now, but Baekhyun’s starting to think he’s not gonna get much more work done anyway. It’s nearing dinnertime and he should find something to eat anyway. Maybe hunting down some food with keep his mind off of all things Kyungsoo-related.

He finishes typing out the quote he’d been copying from his textbook into his paper and then saves and double-saves the document before quickly packing up all his things.

It’s cold outside. Baekhyun is underdressed as always, pulling the hood of his jacket up over his ears and shoving his gloveless hands into his pockets, hoping it’s enough to get him to food without freezing to death. He should’ve gone to school in LA or something, he thinks bitterly, snow crunching under his feet as he walks toward the small Japanese place just off campus and on the way home. He can get something to eat there, kill some more time, and hopefully his roommates won’t notice him sneak back into the apartment.

Though if he’d gone to school in LA, Baekhyun thinks to himself, heavy hearted as he opens the door to the restaurant, then he never would’ve met Kyungsoo. Maybe that would’ve been the best, considering how terribly he’s messed everything up.

He wishes he could just stop thinking about Kyungsoo entirely, but instead these little tendrils of thought weave their way into his brain no matter how desperately he tries to shut them out.

So of course it’s just his luck that he walks in on Kyungsoo himself, sitting at one of the small tables at the Japanese place with Jongdae across from him, his expression turning almost stony the second he notices Baekhyun. “Oh,” Baekhyun awkwardly says, staring down at his feet and shuffling away from the door as people try to leave. It brings him closer to Kyungsoo, and when he glances over at him, Kyungsoo is staring resolutely at his mostly empty bowl of ramen, his spoon clenched tightly in his hand.

Baekhyun licks his lips. His cheeks feel stiff and frozen, but he thinks Kyungsoo’s reaction to his presence has left him even colder than the weather outside. “I didn’t know that, uh--I was just--” he tries to explain himself, because he feels, strangely like he should, but then Kyungsoo is suddenly standing, the feet of his chair screeching as he pushes it back.

“I’ll see you back at home, Jongdae,” he says breezily, bundling up quickly and grabbing his backpack from where he’s set it on the floor before he leaves.

He doesn’t even look at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun stands still in his spot, staring at the space where Kyungsoo had been. He doesn’t think he’s very hungry anymore.

A deep, heavy sigh from his right draws his attention to Jongdae, who is rubbing his temples like he’s got a migraine. “You guys are unbelievable,” he says, shaking his head.

Baekhyun opens his mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. He doesn’t know how to explain himself. Jongdae stares at him for a long moment, then finally drops his hands to the table and pushes himself up to his feet as well. “Sit down,” he says, pointing at Kyungsoo’s empty seat. “I’m gonna go order your favorite and then we’re gonna talk, okay?”

The way Jongdae’s crossing his arms over his chest, his eyebrows quirked expectantly, clearly leaves no room for Baekhyun to object. He swallows down the thick lump in his throat and nods.

“Okay,” he says. Jongdae claps him on the shoulder once Baekhyun’s seated, mutters, “Be right back,” and leaves Baekhyun to his sad, miserable thoughts.

He steals a couple of pieces of carrot out of Jongdae’s mostly-empty dish and jumps a bit when Jongdae returns, slipping back into his seat noisily. He bats Baekhyun’s hand away from his bowl, but then holds out a pair of chopsticks and a spoon that he must’ve picked up on his way back. Baekhyun smiles at him gratefully and sets the utensils down in front of him. He’s still not sure he can eat, but maybe once the food is in front of him, he’ll change his mind.

“I ordered some extra gyoza too, figured you wouldn’t mind,” Jongdae says, leaning back against his chair and watching Baekhyun closely like he’s a zoo animal or something.

Baekhyun just shakes his head. “That’s fine,” he says, because he knows Jongdae is a glutton and would happily eat about three bowls of ramen everyday if he could. “You didn’t have to--”

“I know I didn’t,” Jongdae cuts over him. “Just consider it incentive to tell me your side of the story.”

Baekhyun cringes a bit, staring down at his lap. He picks up the spoon Jongdae had given him just for something to do with his hands, turning the shiny metal around and around between his fingers.

Jongdae lets out a little sigh that makes Baekhyun glance up at him. His expression has softened a bit now, like he’s no longer interested in interrogating Baekhyun. “We haven’t had a chance to talk about it,” he says. “I should’ve realized something was off, too, you know, that day we were eating lunch and you said…”

“Yeah,” Baekhyun murmurs, heat finally returning to his cheeks, but in the form of embarrassment. “I’m an idiot, I know.”

“You are,” Jongdae easily agrees, “but so is Kyungsoo.”

Baekhyun opens his mouth to refute him, but Jongdae’s order number is called out and he jumps out from the table, leaving Baekhyun to sigh. He runs a hand through his hair, drops the spoon to the tabletop, and rubs at his face.

The enticing scent of gyoza reaches his nose and as he inhales deeply, staring down at the plate that Jongdae rests onto the table, some of his hunger comes back. Baekhyun picks up a piece of gyoza with his chopsticks, dunking it into the sauce and then into his mouth, and whimper-moaning around the heat and the delicious taste.

“If you waited even two minutes,” Jongdae chides him with a shake of his head, but his lips are curling in amusement.

“I’m hungry,” Baekhyun says through his mouthful which makes Jongdae’s face scrunch up in disgust. He hands Baekhyun a napkin. Baekhyun carefully eats his piece of gyoza, mostly open-mouthed to battle the heat. He’s pretty sure he’s burned his tongue, but he doesn’t care. Jongdae watches him for a couple of moments, then glances down at his phone when it flashes on the table. He taps at the screen, checking his messages, and then jumps back to his feet when his order number is called again, this time for Baekhyun’s actual meal.

Jongdae brings back Baekhyun’s favorite, a warm bowl of pork ramen, and Baekhyun practically salivates at the sight. In the face of delicious food, he’s able to just barely push aside everything else that’s been upsetting him.

And thankfully Jongdae gives him a couple of more minutes to unwind, reaching for a piece of gyoza for himself and telling Baekhyun how his morning class was canceled this morning because his professor never showed up. Baekhyun’s glad that Jongdae’s not diving right into the interrogation. He still doesn’t know how to explain everything that’s going on and he wasn’t prepared to talk about any of this today. He knows he should, but that doesn’t make it any easier.

He’s made a considerable dent in his bowl of ramen and there’s only two pieces of gyoza left on the plate when Jongdae says, “So, tell me everything.” He reaches across the table to dig out a slice of pork from Baekhyun’s bowl and pops it into his mouth.

Baekhyun licks his lips. “I don’t even know where to start,” he admits. “The...past few weeks feel like something out of a dream, now.”

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Jongdae says with a huff of a laugh. “You didn’t realize you guys were dating.”

He says it so simply, like that’s all there is to it. But Baekhyun knows, has mulled it over and over in his head the past couple of days, that there’s definitely more to it than just that. It’s all his feelings and all of Kyungsoo’s feelings and all of the miscommunication and the fact that he still can’t _remember_ what he could’ve possibly said to Kyungsoo to make him think they were dating in the first place.

“I like him,” Baekhyun breathes out, and he’s not sure why he goes with that, but maybe that is as close to the beginning of this mess as he can get. He’s never properly admitted it like this either. It’s freeing, maybe. “I like Kyungsoo. A lot. Like _a lot, a lot_.”

Jongdae snorts. “Dude, I’ve known that for like two years,” he says and when Baekhyun looks up at him, a little panicked, he waves a hand. “I don’t think Kyungsoo knew, but that’s probably because he was too caught up in his own feelings for you.” Jongdae shakes his head again, exasperated. “You’re both stupidly oblivious.”

Baekhyun can’t wrap his head around what Jongdae’s saying. The idea that Kyungsoo’s liked Baekhyun all this time...it seems unfathomable. And yet.

“Kyungsoo said, the other day, that we talked about it,” Baekhyun says. “He said we talked about dating, that it was right after the semester started. But I can’t--I don’t remember it at all.” He rubs at his face with his hands again, as it hoping it will jostle something in his brain and make the memories come back to him. “I...I remember that first weekend, when we were all hanging out at the apartment and having an Avengers marathon, and I’m pretty sure Kyungsoo dragged me to bed, but I don’t--If we talked about anything that night aside from how much you wanted to bone Loki, I can’t remember it.”

“Hey, who _doesn’t_ want to bone Loki!” Jongdae says, smacking a hand onto the table. “You guys just have no taste--”

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun pleads, and Jongdae huffs one last time, then reaches out to pluck another piece of gyoza.

“Look, I can’t tell you what happened with you and Kyungsoo that night,” he says. “He did tell me about it like two days afterward though, that you guys were dating. So whatever happened, whatever changed, it definitely was then. You’ll have to ask him.”

Baekhyun slumps in his seat. He stares into his bowl, the chunks of tofu and vegetables still swimming around in the broth, and doesn’t think he can eat anymore. His stomach is churning unpleasantly. “I’m scared to,” he says quietly, but Jongdae hears him anyway.

He bumps Baekhyun’s foot under the table. “I think he’s scared to talk to you too,” Jongdae says after a moment, and that’s not what Baekhyun is expecting. He looks back up at him, surprised, and Jongdae nods. “I’m serious,” he says.

“I--” Baekhyun struggles to find the right words. “He seemed mad. Not scared.”

“He is mad,” Jongdae says and Baekhyun lowers his gaze again, his chest tightening around his heart. He pushes his bowl toward the middle of the table, free dibs for Jongdae if he wants to take it. He doesn’t. Instead, he sets the plate with the last gyoza in front of Baekhyun and says, “Eat it. I’ve had too much.”

Baekhyun shakes his head. Jongdae sighs.

“He’s not mad at you exactly,” he says. “He’s just--Fuck, I can’t tell you, okay? You have to talk to him.”

Baekhyun knows. Baekhyun _knows_ he has to talk to Kyungsoo but just the thought of facing him makes him want to run in the opposite direction. It’s funny, how just a week ago, he was telling himself to be brave, to confess, and today, he doesn’t think he can even speak to Kyungsoo without throwing up.

“Hey,” Jongdae says, and he’s reaching over to grab one of Baekhyun’s hands, warmth sinking in where their skin touches. “It’s just Kyungsoo,” he says. “You like him, and despite how it might seem right now, he really fucking likes you too. You guys will figure this out. It’d be a shame if after how long you’ve been pining after each other that something so silly like this would break you apart.”

Baekhyun manages a little breathless chuckle at that. Jongdae’s words are strangely comforting. “Thanks,” he mumbles.

Jongdae grins, squeezes Baekhyun’s hand, and then pulls back. He leans against his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as a lazy smirk stretches over his lips. “Only you could accidentally get yourself into a relationship with your own crush and not even realize it, Baekhyun,” he says, and this time, Baekhyun laughs a lot easier.

 

 

-

 

 

“Hey,” Baekhyun quietly says, hovering just outside of the door to Kyungsoo and Chanyeol’s bedroom. Kyungsoo is halfway between pulling on a fresh shirt, having just emerged from a shower, and he’s peering at Baekhyun over the collar as it clings around his face. Baekhyun probably should’ve waited until he was dressed to say anything, but this is the first time the two of them have been alone in the apartment in days and Baekhyun wanted to catch Kyungsoo before he tried to leave. “Can...Can we talk?”

Kyungsoo stares at Baekhyun for a long moment, eyes wide and blank, then looks deliberately away. He tugs his shirt down completely. Baekhyun sighs internally at the loss of sight of Kyungsoo’s firm body and soft skin but then pushes the thought aside quickly. That’s not what he’s here for. He takes a steadying breath and watches as Kyungsoo putters around his room, putting on his glasses, tossing dirty clothes into his hamper, fixing the covers on his bed, and Baekhyun knows Kyungsoo well enough to know he hasn’t been entirely dismissed yet. If Kyungsoo wanted him to leave, he would’ve told him without hesitation.

So he waits, waits for Kyungsoo to finish doing whatever he had planned to do, waits for him to maybe get over the shock or the anxiety of talking with Baekhyun. He probably wasn’t expecting Baekhyun to be the one to come to him first, but Baekhyun is so tired of being miserable. It’s been a week since he learned the truth. A week since they’ve talked or touched or barely even looked at each other for more than a few seconds at a time.

Baekhyun misses Kyungsoo. He doesn’t want to lose him.

Finally, Kyungsoo lets out a deep, heavy sigh and turns to Baekhyun. “Okay,” he says, and Baekhyun’s lungs let out a whoosh of relief.

He takes a tentative step into the room. Kyungsoo settles onto the chair at his desk, folding his left leg under him. Baekhyun inches in slower, until he eventually sits at the edge of Chanyeol’s bed, only because it’s further away and maybe Kyungsoo would appreciate some distance. The way Kyungsoo frowns at him though has Baekhyun rethinking his decision.

He doesn’t move though, just wrings his hands together in his lap. The room is quiet. The apartment is quiet. Jongdae had told Baekhyun the night before that Kyungsoo’s Wednesday morning class had been canceled and that he and Chanyeol would conveniently disappear, giving him the chance to speak with Kyungsoo, but Baekhyun almost wishes they were still here, making noise in the other room and reminding Baekhyun he’s not totally alone.

He looks at Kyungsoo and hates that sitting here across from him makes him feel so alone when usually Kyungsoo makes Baekhyun feel happy and safe and warm.

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun blurts out, his feelings getting the better of him, bubbling up inside of him and tumbling out from his mouth before he can think it all through. “I’m so sorry, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry for not remembering and for not saying anything sooner and for being such an idiot and not even _realizing_ what was going on, and I’m sorry that everything got so fucked up when I--when I really--”

“Really what, Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo says in the minute pause when Baekhyun’s brain finally catches up to what his mouth is saying and he struggles to find the right words.

Baekhyun stares at him, at Kyungsoo in his black shirt and black sweatpants and cute little socks with poodles on them that _Baekhyun_ had gotten for him months ago, and maybe Kyungsoo doesn’t hate Baekhyun like Baekhyun thought he might, if he’s still wearing those socks, and he says, “I _like_ you. I _really_ like you.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen at Baekhyun’s confession. His fingers curl into the fabric of his sweats at his thighs like he needs something to ground him, like this can’t possibly be real. Baekhyun suddenly wonders if Kyungsoo thought that Baekhyun not realizing they were dating meant that that Baekhyun didn’t like Kyungsoo at all or that Baekhyun didn’t want to date Kyungsoo at all. The idea horrifies him, sends a wave of panic through his body that makes Baekhyun want to wrap Kyungsoo into his arms and tell him that he’s _wrong_ , that Baekhyun likes Kyungsoo so much he might be in love with him, but that’s--

“I should’ve told you so long ago,” Baekhyun whispers, pushing aside the rest of his frantic thoughts and focusing on what he can and _should_ be telling Kyungsoo right now. “I like you _so much_ , Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I waited until I fucked up like this to tell you.”

Kyungsoo shakes his head, just slightly from side to side. “You did tell me,” he says, his voice soft and maybe a little wistful and Baekhyun clings to that instead of trying to decipher what Kyungsoo means. “You really don’t remember, do you?”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun immediately says, wishing he did, wishing he knew what had happened to change everything between them.

He’s surprised when Kyungsoo lets out this short chuckle. “Stop apologizing,” he says, and when he looks at Baekhyun now, there’s a hint of a smile on his lips that eases the ache in Baekhyun’s chest. “You’re not the only one who messed up, okay?”

Baekhyun isn’t sure how that’s possible, but he quietly nods and Kyungsoo sighs, uncurling his fingers from his sweats to instead slide them through his hair a few times. His hair has grown out a bit, which means Kyungsoo will probably get it cut very soon, but Baekhyun knows he’ll look handsome no matter what.

“That Friday after the first week of classes,” Kyungsoo says slowly, “we were watching movies and Chanyeol was crying about Seulgi threatening to break up with him. You remember?”

Baekhyun laughs, because that much he _does_ remember, for the most part. “Jongdae made popcorn and we ordered pizza,” Baekhyun says. “You quoted like the entirety of Winter Soldier under your breath.”

The tips of Kyungsoo’s ears turn a little pink at that. “It’s a good movie,” he defends himself.

“It was cute,” Baekhyun says without thinking, and he can feel himself blushing now too. The surprised way Kyungsoo is staring at him makes him feel so exposed. Baekhyun’s not used to talking about his Kyungsoo-feelings aloud. He rubs the back of his neck and looks down at the floor, wills his heart to stop beating so fast.

“You and Jongdae got into a heated argument about Loki,” Kyungsoo says after a moment. “Chanyeol suggested a drinking game halfway through Infinity War.”

“I don’t remember that,” Baekhyun says, brows furrowing. “I was supposed to meet Yixing on Saturday for breakfast, so I thought I didn’t drink that much.”

“You didn’t,” Kyungsoo confirms. “You had two beers, maybe three. It wasn’t enough to get you drunk, even though you _are_ a lightweight.”

“Hey,” Baekhyun says, only minutely offended. He still grabs the horrifying Zootopia plush toy that Chanyeol has on his bed and throws it at Kyungsoo who laughs and catches it easily. They smile at each other much more comfortably now, the first smile they’ve really exchanged in days.

“When it got late enough, you demanded I carry you to bed,” Kyungsoo continues and Baekhyun’s face heats up a little more, even though that definitely sounds like something he’d say and do. “You whined a lot,” he adds, and lifts a hand up to scratch a finger along the side of his face, the way he does when he’s embarrassed. “It was...cute,” he finishes, and maybe he’s admitting it because Baekhyun had admitted it. Reciprocating affection. Hope swells in Baekhyun’s chest, pushes back that lingering ache.

“Did you take me to bed, Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun asks, and it comes out much more flirtatious than he means. He balks, wanting to take it back, but Kyungsoo laughs.

“I did,” he confirms. “It’s not like we hadn’t done that before, anyway. But that night…”

“Oh god,” Baekhyun says, suddenly horrified. “We didn’t--”

It takes a moment for Kyungsoo to understand what Baekhyun’s thinking, but then he laughs again, waving his hands. “No, you idiot, we didn’t have sex,” he says. “Although maybe that would’ve been better; you might’ve remembered that.”

Baekhyun groans, rubs his hands over his face and through his hair and flops over to groan into Chanyeol’s pillows too, just for good measure. When he pulls himself together, Kyungsoo is staring at him amusedly and Baekhyun says, “Just tell me what I did already! I’ve been trying so hard to remember and I can’t! My memory sucks, Kyungsoo! You know that! That’s why--

“You told me you love me,” Kyungsoo says quickly, and the rest of Baekhyun’s words are swallowed up by the sudden pterodactyl that’s taken over Baekhyun’s body.

“ _What_?” he screeches.

Kyungsoo, that bastard, looks kind of entertained by Baekhyun’s mortification. “Yeah, uh, we were lying in my bed together and you were looking at me, and maybe you were drunker than I thought you were, or maybe you were just really tired, I--I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says, “but I was poking you in the stomach to get you to stop hogging the covers and you said, _why can’t you see how much I love you_?”

“Oh my _god_ ,” Baekhyun whispers, dropping his face into his hands. He can’t look at Kyungsoo anymore. He doesn’t even want to look at himself right now. He’s such an idiot.

“You even said something about how much you wanted to date me, and how unfair it was that I was so hot,” Kyungsoo adds.

“This is a dream, right?” Baekhyun mumbles into his palms. “I’m hallucinating.”

There’s a moment of silence, then the creak of Kyungsoo’s chair as he undoubtedly moves. Baekhyun doesn’t expect him to join him on the bed, but the way the mattress dips to his left tells him that Kyungsoo’s sitting beside him now, and the gentle fingers that wrap around Baekhyun’s wrists tell him that Kyungsoo wants to look at him, wants to see his face.

Baekhyun kind of wants to cry because Kyungsoo is so nice, even though Baekhyun confessed his feelings like a sleepy, drunken fool, and then _forgot all about it_.

He lets Kyungsoo tug his hands away, lets him hold onto his hands over his lap, and blinks back the feelings threatening to leak from his eyes as he stares at Kyungsoo who is looking at him with warm, tender eyes. “I told you that I felt the same way,” Kyungsoo softly says, “and that we definitely should date.” He smiles crookedly and adds, “And you said _okay_.”

“Of course I did,” Baekhyun laughs, delirious. “God, Kyungsoo, I can’t believe I forgot all about this.”

“Yeah, well,” Kyungsoo says with a shrug. “I should’ve reminded you properly, but I didn’t. Maybe I was too happy that you liked me, that I didn’t want to jeopardize it by bringing it back up. In the morning, I asked you if you meant what you said last night, and you told me, _of course, why would I say something I don’t mean to you?_ ” He chuckles a little humorlessly, shakes his head. “I thought that was enough. I _let_ that be enough.”

“It’s not your fault--”

“It _is_ ,” Kyungsoo insists, and he looks so serious about it, that Baekhyun rears back a little in surprise. “I told you the other day, that we’d talked about it, about _us_ , but...we hadn’t, not really, not in a way that actually matters. Not like...this.” He gives Baekhyun’s hands a little shake in emphasis. He still hasn’t let go, and Baekhyun stares down at their hands, at how Kyungsoo’s fingers are a little shorter, wider, nails trimmed down and touch so soft as he rubs his thumb across Baekhyun’s knuckles.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says. “I should’ve realized something wasn’t right. The past couple of weeks--It feels like a weird dream, now. There were these little moments where I thought, I don’t know, that maybe I was pushing too hard or that you were tired and that’s why you wouldn’t touch me, or maybe...maybe that I’d heard wrong that night and you didn’t really want to be with me.”

“Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun breathes out. “That’s not it at all.”

Kyungsoo chuckles again shortly. “Imagine my surprise to realize it wasn’t any of that. Instead, you didn’t even know we were dating,” he says and a wry smile curls at his lips as he looks up at Baekhyun. “I felt like such an idiot too. What kind of boyfriend doesn’t even realize his entire relationship has been one-sided?”

“It’s not one-sided,” Baekhyun immediately says. “I _like_ you and everything--everything that we did, the touching, the kissing, I _liked_ that. I _wanted_ that.”

“But you didn’t _know_ \--”

“So what, you want to claim it was emotional manipulation or something?” Baekhyun exclaims. “You didn’t force me to do anything, Kyungsoo! Yeah, I was surprised and I might’ve not understood why things had changed between us, but you think I didn’t have my own selfish reasons for not admitting that? I wanted it because I want _you_ , and I didn’t think I could ever have you.”

Kyungsoo’s squeezing Baekhyun’s hands in his lap, biting his lower lip as he looks at him, his gaze somewhere between awed and indulgent. “You are an idiot,” he whispers, “you’ve always had me.”

Tears spring to Baekhyun’s eyes, all the emotions he’s been pushing back finally reaching the tipping point. He sniffles, and he laughs out a soppy, “Fuck,” trying desperately not to start sobbing. Relief washes over him so completely it’s like every awful thing he’s thought about himself and about his relationship with Kyungsoo has been swept away with the realization that Kyungsoo likes him, still likes him, and still, maybe, wants to be with him.

“That’s way too cheesy,” he whimper-whines, but his heart is so warm, and Kyungsoo’s bright, beautiful grin fills Baekhyun’s veins with fireworks.

He tugs at Baekhyun’s hands again, only this time to pull Baekhyun into his arms, holding him into his chest as Baekhyun nuzzles his nose into the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck. “It’s true,” Kyungsoo says. “Besides, I think you like it.”

“Maybe,” Baekhyun mumbles, sniffling again before he pulls back, rubbing at his eyes and chuckling under his breath at the incredulousness of this entire moment. “We really made things more difficult for ourselves than we needed to, huh?”

Another one of those wry smiles curls across Kyungsoo’s lips. “Just a little,” he agrees. “I think...I think we were both blinded by our own feelings.”

“Just a little,” Baekhyun repeats, teasing, and Kyungsoo releases one of Baekhyun’s hands so he can punch him weakly in the shoulder.

It feels much more like normal, like _them_. Baekhyun and Kyungsoo who push and pull and tease and joke but care for each other in their own ways. Baekhyun’s missed this. As much as he’s enjoyed some of the changes that have happened over the last couple of weeks, he likes knowing the truth even more, and he finally feels settled, comfortable, his mind clear and his heart hopeful.

“Where…” Baekhyun starts, licking his lips as he tries to put his thoughts together. “Where do we go from here?” he asks, glancing back up at Kyungsoo. He knows what he wants, but he wants to know what Kyungsoo wants even more than that. He doesn’t want any mistakes this time.

Kyungsoo huffs out a breath and he slips his hands from Baekhyun’s to run fingers through his hair, pushes his glasses up his nose. Baekhyun misses the warmth of his touch but makes up for it by letting himself drink in the sight of Kyungsoo sitting so close to him again. The way his thick brows furrow as he thinks, the way his hair sticks up in places now, the little mole along his tragus when he turns his head just right.

“You know, I was really angry with you when I realized you didn’t know we were dating,” Kyungsoo admits after a moment and for a brief moment, Baekhyun’s stomach sinks toward his knees. But then Kyungsoo is smiling a little, shaking his head. “But I was also pissed at myself, for not noticing. So I think...if we want this to work between us, we have to stop blaming ourselves or being mad at each other for what happened the past couple of weeks. We messed up and that’s okay, right? This time...This time we have to be honest and we have to like actually talk to each other if something is weird and we’re confused, okay?”

He’s rambling a little, Baekhyun can tell, from the way he shuts up suddenly and blushes a cute pink across his cheeks. He scratches the side of his face again and adds, “That is...I mean...If you really want this, still.”

Baekhyun doesn’t even have to think about it. “Of course I do,” he exclaims. “Isn’t it obvious that I do? I told you I loved you days ago and even if I forgot all about confessing, it doesn’t mean my feelings have changed.”

“Are you sure?” Kyungsoo mutters, looking unsure for another moment until Baekhyun reaches over and pinches his thigh, hard. “ _Ow_ ,” he says, “what was that for?”

“For not believing me!” Baekhyun says, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting. “If we’re settling rules about honesty and stuff, then you also gotta stop second-guessing yourself, Kyungsoo.”

“I--I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says and he looks it, so Baekhyun forgives him, not that he was ever really all that mad in the first place.

He huffs and says, “It’s okay. I’ll make you believe how much I like you soon enough anyway.”

That curls an amused smile across Kyungsoo’s face. “Yeah?” he questions, eyes sparkling interestedly and brow quirked. “How?”

“Hmm, well,” Baekhyun starts, clears his throat as his own face heats up a little under Kyungsoo’s unwavering gaze. “A kiss...seems like a good place to start.”

He’s not sure where this boldness is coming from, but maybe it’s the confidence building inside him from finally sorting everything out, from simply knowing that Kyungsoo doesn’t hate him, and still wants to be with him.

Kyungsoo’s smile turns into a smirk. God, he’s so hot, and yeah, Baekhyun really does want to kiss him now. “You wanna kiss me, Baekhyun?” he asks, like it’s not totally obvious from the way Baekhyun is definitely staring at his mouth.

“Yeah,” Baekhyun breathes out. “Is that okay?”

Kyungsoo manages a single nod before Baekhyun is kissing him, leaning over to press their mouths together. And it's infinitely better like this, when Baekhyun _knows_ that Kyungsoo likes him, when Kyungsoo knows that _Baekhyun_ loves him, too. He shivers as Kyungsoo slides his hand along Baekhyun's jaw, settling against the side of his face, fingertips brushing along his ear, thumb over his cheekbone. Kyungsoo's mouth opens, draws Baekhyun in, lips soft, warm, and wet, tasting faintly of the minty toothpaste he likes to use, and Baekhyun whines, sighs, melts into it, burning hot with pleasure. With happiness.

They kiss until they’re laughing, until Baekhyun’s happiness bubbles out of him in the breathless sound of his laughter and he feels Kyungsoo’s lips twitching into a smile against his own. His stomach fills with butterflies as Kyungsoo gently slips his hand from Baekhyun’s face to brush back his hair. Baekhyun stares at Kyungsoo with his heart pounding in his ears, He wants to pull Kyungsoo back for another kiss, he wants to slide his own fingers into Kyungsoo’s hair, maybe smooth down those strands that are sticking out, he wants to drag Kyungsoo into his arms and never let him go.

“I’m so happy right now I don’t know what to do,” Baekhyun blurts out, and embarrassment creeps up his neck in a hot flush as Kyungsoo chuckles.

“I do,” he says, and he cups Baekhyun’s face in his hands. Baekhyun’s breath catches in his throat. “Will you go on a date with me, Baekhyun? A real one, this time? Where we both know what’s going on and--”

“ _Yes_ , shut up, of course I will--Wait,” Baekhyun’s excitement dies on his tongue as Kyungsoo’s words catch up to him. He covers Kyungsoo’s hands on his face with his own, pulls them down to his lap as he slowly speaks again. “What do you mean _this time_?” he says even though he already knows and that mortification from earlier comes sweeping back through his as the fragments start piece together. “Oh my god,” he breathes. “That night you took me to see that indie movie...and you paid for everything and we even had tacos for dinner even though you said you hate that place but I really wanted it...That was a _date_.”

There’s a split second where Kyungsoo looks a little sad that Baekhyun hadn’t known, but it’s gone in the next moment. He nods and laughs a little. “Yeah,” he says. “It was supposed to be, at least.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Baekhyun moans pitifully. “I’m the worst person in the world.”

Kyungsoo laughs more fully this time and he shakes his head. “You’re not,” he says insistently. “And don’t say that! What did we just agree upon, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun opens his mouth to argue but Kyungsoo presses a finger to his lips and he pouts instead. It’s not going to be easy to get over how terrible he feels about the past couple of weeks, but he knows Kyungsoo is right. They can’t move on unless they move past it. They both made mistakes and now they’re going to fix it.

“Right,” he says. “You’re right. Fuck. So like...What now?”

“We...start over,” Kyungsoo says after a moment of consideration, licking his lips and making Baekhyun desperately want to kiss him all over again. He holds onto that urge until they figure this out. “A fresh start.”

“A fresh start,” Baekhyun repeats. He can do that. “Together, this time.”

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo agrees, taking up one of Baekhyun’s hands again to give his fingers a firm, promising squeeze. “Together.”

 

 

-

 

 

“And now we’re dating. For real this time.”

“Wow, Baekhyun,” Yixing says once Baekhyun’s finished explaining recent events. He leans back on his hands, sitting on the floor in Baekhyun’s living room, and stretches his legs out under the coffee table.

“Right?” Baekhyun says with a laugh, reaching for his beer to take a sip. The apartment is empty save for the two of them. Yixing had stopped by with take out when Baekhyun had whined at him about being all alone on a Friday night; Kyungsoo had a group project to work on, Chanyeol had a date, and Jongdae was meeting up with Sunyoung and Taekwoon for karaoke.

He’d invited Baekhyun to come along, but Baekhyun had declined, thinking that if Kyungsoo’s group project ended early enough, the two of them could have some privacy in the apartment before their roommates returned.

Instead, he’d gotten lonely after thirty minutes of being in the apartment on his own and had sent about a hundred crying emojis to Yixing, hoping he would be free.

And he was, thankfully, giving Baekhyun the perfect opportunity to tell him what’s happened. Yixing is still staring at Baekhyun in surprise, and it takes Baekhyun tickling the bottom of his foot with his toes for Yixing to snap out of it, laughing as he rolls away from the attack.

“I never would’ve guessed that’s what was going on,” Yixing says when he’s settled again, crossing his legs in front of him and reaching for one of the wontons on the coffee table. He cracks it open and pops one half into his mouth.

“Imagine _my_ surprise,” Baekhyun snickers. The whole thing is starting to become kind of funny now, actually. One of those ridiculous stories to tell the grandkids or a room full of relatives during their wedding--

Baekhyun takes another quick drink of his beer and pushes _that_ thought far, far into the back of his mind.

“I guess that’s why you looked so shocked when I asked about Kyungsoo the last time we met,” Yixing muses aloud. “Kyungsoo didn’t tell me you guys were together, but I mean, I always kinda thought you were anyway.”

“Wait, _what_?” Baekhyun exclaims, and Yixing has the gall to laugh at him, like he isn’t blowing Baekhyun’s mind.

“Yeah,” he says with a shrug. “You’re always talking about him, Baekhyun, and I knew you liked him, of course. Sometimes when you talked about the things you guys did together, it sounded like dates, even though you never said it was, so it’s just on me for assuming, but has much changed for you other than both of you knowing how the other really feels?”

Baekhyun opens his mouth and then closes it when he realizes he doesn’t know what to say. Yixing smiles at him softly and turns his attention back to his food, leaving Baekhyun to puzzle out his thoughts on his own.

He thinks that Yixing is probably right. Aside from the kissing, the only thing that’s really different now is that Baekhyun and Kyungsoo know how each other feels. They’re not hiding anymore. It’s been a couple of days since the two of them had talked, had laid out everything that had gone on and decided that yes, they still wanted to be together, that their feelings hadn’t changed.

It’s taken those couple of days to adjust, too. A few days to remember that things are all right now, that when Kyungsoo reaches tentative fingers out to curl through Baekhyun’s, it’s because he actually _wants_ to, that when Baekhyun’s heart pounds loudly as he presses a kiss to the corner of Kyungsoo’s mouth and Kyungsoo smiles so, so widely at him, it’s because they’re _both_ happy to be together.

Baekhyun had to remind himself of that a few times. It’s like they were walking on eggshells around each other after their conversation, trying to find their footing after the slippery slope they’d been treading over the past few weeks. But as the days went on, the more comfortable they’ve become, until Baekhyun isn’t afraid to rest his head in Kyungsoo’s lap on the couch after a long day, or hold his hand when they walk across campus, or climb into Kyungsoo’s bed in the morning to kiss him awake, peppering his face until Kyungsoo is groaning and huffing and maybe laughing, dragging Baekhyun against him for a couple more minutes of slumber.

Baekhyun likes being able to hold Kyungsoo and touch Kyungsoo and kiss Kyungsoo without being confused about it. Nothing about the way Kyungsoo’s lips feel against his is confusing now. It makes him feel like he’s right where he belongs.

Things might have started a little awkwardly, but they’re getting better. So much better. They’re still friends, but they’re also more than just that. Kyungsoo texts Baekhyun _goodnight_ even though he’s just across the hall, Kyungsoo brings back Baekhyun’s favorite coffee after his early morning class, and they plan a date, a _real date_ , for the next Saturday when they’re both free.

After all this time of wanting Kyungsoo, it feels unbelievable that Baekhyun finally, truly has him.

A smile tugs at Baekhyun’s lips as he thinks about it. Yixing is kind of smirking at him knowingly when Baekhyun glances over at him and Baekhyun can’t help but laugh. “Maybe,” he says finally, “you have a point.”

“I’m happy for you, Baekhyunnie,” Yixing says with a wide grin, and yeah, Baekhyun is pretty happy for himself, too.

 

 

-

 

 

“Hey, can I ask you something?” Kyungsoo says that following Sunday afternoon, when they’re lying in bed in Baekhyun’s room, talking and kissing. Mostly kissing.

Baekhyun licks his lips and pulls back so he can look down at Kyungsoo’s face from where he’s straddling his lap. “Yeah,” he says, “of course.”

Kyungsoo’s adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows and seems to carefully find his words. Baekhyun reaches up to slide his fingers through Kyungsoo’s freshly cut hair; not as long anymore, but still soft between his fingers.

A smile forms at the corner of Kyungsoo’s mouth and he sighs, relaxed. “I know we agreed we're okay,” he says, “and that we should move past everything that happened but I…” He bites his lower lip and fixes his gaze somewhere just over Baekhyun’s left shoulder. He takes a deep breath and then releases it slowly before he speaks again. “I haven't been able to shake the feeling that I was really pressuring you to...You know.”

“Be with you?” Baekhyun offers with a short laugh, a little surprised by this sudden change of pace. They’d been talking about the upcoming Captain Marvel movie not too long ago. Not that he minds discussing this with Kyungsoo; they both know they need to be more open to dissauge any of the lingering concerns from the past couple of weeks.

Kyungsoo nods. “Yeah. You said I wasn't manipulating you but--I don’t know, when I think about it sometimes, it feels like...”

“You crossed a line or something?” Baekhyun says and knows he’s right by the way Kyungsoo lets out another deep sigh.

“Yeah,” he says quietly, looking slightly pained as he gazes up at Baekhyun. He reaches out to rest his hands on Baekhyun’s hips and he’s gentle about coaxing Baekhyun to move, just enough that they’re sitting on the bed level with each other instead of Baekhyun hovering over him. “I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo says after a moment. “I never meant to do anything to make you uncomfortable.”

“I know that,” Baekhyun says immediately, reaching out to take Kyungsoo’s hand in his and squeezing. “I know you weren't doing anything maliciously, Kyungsoo, and I never felt like I couldn't tell you no."

When Kyungsoo stares at him, looking rather unconvinced, Baekhyun chuckles softly and adds, "Remember that afternoon after that party and I was hungover and we cuddled in your bed for awhile?"

Kyungsoo nods slowly. His brows furrow like he's trying to figure out where Baekhyun is going with this.

"Remember how I suddenly pulled away when we were kissing and suggested getting ice cream?"

Kyungsoo's frowning now, like maybe this is a bad memory that he doesn't want to be reminded of, but still he says, "Yes, I remember. I didn't--I couldn't figure out why you didn't want to just stay there with me. You pulled away so quickly and you didn’t explain. It was...weird.”

"God, Kyungsoo, I wanted to be with you," Baekhyun says breathlessly. "I really wanted to stay there and kiss you and touch you but--" He swallows, struggling to find his words. Kyungsoo gazes at him softly though and doesn't push him, just waits and rubs his thumb along Baekhyun’s knuckles. It's funny, how minutes ago they were in a similar position to the memory they're talking about but Baekhyun feels a hundred times more comfortable now than he did then, when fear and misunderstandings had swelled up inside his chest and made him run away.

"But when you put your hand under my shirt, I--panicked," Baekhyun finishes. "It's not that I didn't want to be with you, but I couldn't--I don't know. Kissing you was one thing, but going any further than that seemed like too much, especially since I thought we hadn't even talked about any of it, you know?"

Kyungsoo nods again, solemn.

“But it wasn't you," Baekhyun says after a moment. "You didn't push me, Kyungsoo, and you didn’t take advantage of me. It's not like you made me stay there when I pulled away or force me to do anything I didn’t want to do. I was so confused by...by _us_ , and I realized after that day I couldn't keep doing what we were doing without talking about it. If Chanyeol hadn't revealed that you thought we were dating already then I would've come to talk to you about it myself."

Kyungsoo breathes out a relieved sort of laugh at that. "You're much braver than me," he says and Baekhyun shakes his head, because he's not, not really. If he had been braver, maybe he could've confessed properly, soberly, a long time ago. "I should've been the one to come to you and explain what was happening," he says. "I knew something wasn't quite right but still I..."

"How could you tell?" Baekhyun asks curiously and Kyungsoo sighs, shrugs a shoulder.

"It was just some little things," he mutters quietly. "You're always touchy with me and that didn't change, but somehow I was always the one to kiss you first."

Baekhyun blinks at that, having never noticed, and Kyungsoo gives him a wry smile.

"But that day too, before we left for ice cream, you kissed me," he adds, and his ears grow a little pink like talking about this is embarrassing and Baekhyun can't help but grin at the sight because Kyungsoo is so unexpectedly cute sometimes, it's hard not to fall in love with him even more. "And I thought, maybe I’m just making things up in my head, because if you can call me _babe_ and kiss me then...then things must be alright."

He laughs at that, a real one, and shakes his head. "Clearly I was wrong."

"Well, things are alright now," Baekhyun vehemently says, no longer wanting to dissect the past. They already know what they did wrong, and now they need to be better. Together. That was the plan. "We made a mess of things for awhile, but we figured it out, right? Isn't that what matters?"

"Yes," Kyungsoo agrees, and he’s smiling more wholly now. Baekhyun hopes everything he’s been worrying about has been assuaged, that Kyungsoo understands that Baekhyun kissed him because he wanted it too, and it was easier to go with the flow, than to question why it was happening.

The way he’s looking at Baekhyun, like he wants to kiss him right now, maybe make up for all the moments in the past when the lines had been a little blurred, makes Baekhyun think he does, and he leans forward to help ease the way.

Kyungsoo’s free hand slides along the side of his face, fingers bumping against Baekhyun’s ear and into his hair, thumb rubbing over his cheekbone along the way. He kisses Baekhyun gently, as if in gratitude for talking this through with him, and Baekhyun thinks he would talk through anything with Kyungsoo if it means he’ll get to be kissed like this.

“I’m really glad we figured it out,” Kyungsoo breathes in between each press of their lips, and Baekhyun releases Kyungsoo’s hand in favor to push at his shoulders until Kyungsoo’s flattening against the bed again.

“Me too,” he says, enjoying the way Kyungsoo looks, splayed out handsomely against the sheets as Baekhyun returns to his spot in his lap, shivering slightly when Kyungsoo slides the hand at his face down his back and squeezes his ass. “Fuck,” Baekhyun hisses as Kyungsoo finds his mouth again in a slow, steady kiss, one that leaves Baekhyun’s toes curling into the sheets and his heart pounding in his ears. Baekhyun’s come to learn that Kyungsoo _really_ likes kissing, but Baekhyun definitely has no complaints about that at all. “For the sake of--uh--transparency--fuck--can I ask _you_ a question?”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo says softly, trailing his lips from Baekhyun’s mouth along his jaw instead, giving him the space to talk.

“You and, uh, Jihyun…” Baekhyun mumbles quietly. He _knows_ it’s stupid, but he just needs to hear it from Kyungsoo to be sure. “You seemed really...cozy.”

Kyungsoo snorts instead the crook of Baekhyun’s neck and pulls back entirely, eyes wide in amusement when he meets Baekhyun’s gaze. “Seriously?” he says and Baekhyun pouts.

“What! She’s pretty and was practically hanging all over you and you _let_ her and--”

He shuts up when Kyungsoo starts laughing, eyes curving cutely and mouth taking on that heart-shape that never fails to make Baekhyun want to kiss him, even now when he’s feeling particularly sulky. He waits Kyungsoo out, until his mirth lingers in the way his shoulders shake and he grins at Baekhyun rather fondly.

“I could never be interested in Jihyun,” Kyungsoo says in that sweet, low voice he’s discovered makes Baekhyun weak, “because I’ve always had feelings for you.”

All the air in Baekhyun’s lungs seems to evaporate at those words. For a few long moments, he’s pretty sure he doesn’t breathe at all, and when his body regains consciousness, all he’s able to do is whisper out a single, stunned, “Oh.”

Kyungsoo smirks up at him, a thick brow quirking up bemusedly.

Baekhyun clears his throat. Heat floods his veins, from the tips of his fingers all the way up his neck, concentrated in his cheeks. He probably looks like a tomato right now and he has to drag his eyes from Kyungsoo’s smug face to stare at something much safer, like his collarbone just peeking out slightly from beneath his shirt.

“I see,” Baekhyun manages to get out after another few long seconds of silence. Happiness is bubbling so ferociously inside of him it’s practically rendered him speechless.

“Come here, you idiot,” Kyungsoo says, curling a fist into the front of Baekhyun’s shirt and yanking until Baekhyun all but collapses against him. Kyungsoo cups Baekhyun’s face in his hands and kisses him again. Baekhyun all but melts instantly into Kyungsoo’s warm, inviting lips.

He thinks he could stay like this for hours, days, months, even, enjoying how Kyungsoo feels against him and the knowledge of how Kyungsoo likes him the way Baekhyun’s always hoped he would, but of course the moment doesn’t last, not when the door to the room slams open and Jongdae yells, “Baekhyun, let’s order pizza-- _Fuck_ , not again!”

Kyungsoo groans at the interruption and Baekhyun pulls back, ready to tell Jongdae to fuck off, only Jongdae gets to it first, stomping over and practically shoving Baekhyun off of Kyungsoo and straight to the floor.

“That’s _my_ bed,” Jongdae says, pointing at said bed where Kyungsoo is still sprawled upon. “This is the _third time_ in like two days! I’m really glad you guys worked your shit out and all but make out in your own fucking beds!”

“Maybe your bed is just more comfortable,” Baekhyun says as he peels himself off the floor and back onto Kyungsoo. Jongdae screeches and starts shoving him away again.

“They’re the same beds!” he says as he engages Baekhyun in a very sophisticated slapping match. Kyungsoo scoots up and away, watching them with an amused smirk as he crosses his legs, and only when Jongdae accidentally-on-purpose pokes Baekhyun in the eye does he stop them, smacking Jongdae’s hands away and pulling Baekhyun into his arms.

“Make him stop,” Baekhyun cries, amped up for effect, as he rubs his face into Kyungsoo’s shoulder.

“ _Me_?” Jongdae says, outraged. “If you weren’t fucking in my bed, maybe I wouldn’t have to beat you up! Go desecrate Chanyeol’s bed instead!”

From down the hall, Chanyeol shouts, “Hey!” and Kyungsoo laughs one of his big, adorable laughs that makes Baekhyun’s heart beat a little faster. He rubs his hand along Baekhyun’s arm. That makes his heart beat a little faster too.

“Actually,” Kyungsoo says after a moment, once Jongdae’s stopped huffing. “Maybe it’d just be easier if we swapped rooms.”

Baekhyun goes stock still. Jongdae and Kyungsoo switching rooms? But that would mean--

“Of course,” Kyungsoo adds, a sliver of hesitance in his voice as he turns to Baekhyun with his deep, warm, brown eyes. “If that’s okay with you, Baekhyun.”

“Yes,” Baekhyun breathes out. He doesn’t have to think about it, honestly. “Yes, fuck, of course that’s fine with me--”

“Thank _god_ ,” Jongdae yells, throwing his hands up in the air. “This is the best idea you’ve ever had Kyungsoo.”

Kyungsoo rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sure you would’ve come up with it yourself soon enough,” he says. “I just expedited the process.”

“Yeah, and having Baekhyun all to yourself without any distractions definitely wasn’t a motivation,” Jongdae leers, and Baekhyun cackles a little at the pink flush that overtakes Kyungsoo’s cheeks.

But, like the good boyfriend he is, he waves Jongdae off. “Get the fuck out of here already,” he says. “And yes to the pizza, by the way.”

“You don’t deserve any,” Jongdae says, but he’s heading for the door anyway. “And get the fuck off my bed!”

The door slams shut behind him. Neither Baekhyun nor Kyungsoo move. Silence fills the room for a couple of comfortable moments, Kyungsoo’s hand returning to gently stroking up and down Baekhyun’s arm.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Kyungsoo asks. “Me moving into your room?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Baekhyun says, pulling away from the warmth of Kyungsoo’s body so he can properly look him in the face.

“It’s not, you know, moving too fast?” he says, concern etched into the little space between his brows.

Baekhyun considers this for a few moments, but he still comes to the same conclusion. “I don’t think so,” he says, shaking his head. He reaches a hand out to rub his thumb across the wrinkles in Kyungsoo’s forehead and grins. “We’ve roomed together before, haven’t we? And that worked out pretty well, and I definitely think being able to spend time with you in our own room without Jongdae or Chanyeol walking in on us sounds like heaven.”

That pulls a small, amused laugh from Kyungsoo’s lips, and he doesn’t look quite as worried anymore.

“Besides,” Baekhyun adds, “switching rooms means Jongdae will be indebted to you for the rest of the year.”

Kyungsoo snorts, tugging Baekhyun back against him. “That would be what interests you the most,” he says.

“No,” Baekhyun corrects. “What interests me the most is having you all to myself.”

Kyungsoo kisses him soundly on the mouth for that, and Baekhyun happily reciprocates, letting himself get comfortable against Kyungsoo’s firm, solid body, and the warmth of his hands as they slide up his back. They kiss for some time just like this, forgetting everything else going on around them, indulging in the sweet press of each other’s lips and the gentle brush of each other’s hands, the steady beating of their hearts like a relaxing backtrack.

It really does seem surreal that Baekhyun is here with Kyungsoo like this. He’s sure that soon enough, the shock will wear off and he’ll feel much more settled and just simply happy. Or maybe he will always be a little surprised that Kyungsoo likes him and wants to be with him like this.

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change anything, in the end. Because despite everything that had happened--or maybe even _because of_ everything that had happened--Baekhyun feels closer to Kyungsoo now than he ever has before. He’s no longer weighted down by the stress of hiding his feelings and he’s comforted by the knowledge that Kyungsoo feels the same way.

Jongdae had said that only Baekhyun could accidentally end up in a relationship with his own crush and not realize it. Maybe he was right. Maybe it was always meant to happen like this.

He grins as he pulls back for air. “I really like you, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun declares, delights in the way Kyungsoo’s flushes, surprised, but his lips twitch at the corners like he’s struggling to fight back a smile and failing.

When he does give into it, he grins as widely as Baekhyun, stealing Baekhyun’s breath with how beautiful he looks like this, hair a little mused from Baekhyun’s fingers, lips a little red from Baekhyun’s mouth. He draws Baekhyun close again with a hand curled against the nape of Baekhyun’s neck, until he’s able to press their foreheads together and Baekhyun is so close he can practically count every one of Kyungsoo’s eyelashes.

“I really like you too,” Kyungsoo says in that quiet but serious voice of his that never leaves any room for doubt. Baekhyun doesn’t really have to hear him say it to believe him anymore; he sees it in Kyungsoo’s eyes and in the way he lets Baekhyun drag him to get burgers in the middle of the night, or how he climbs into Baekhyun’s bed and wraps his arms around Baekhyun’s middle under the pretense of being cold, and always gives Baekhyun an extra pancake on weekend mornings despite Chanyeol and Jongdae’s complaints.

He smiles, thinking about it, and smiles still as Kyungsoo finds Baekhyun’s mouth again for one last, smacking kiss. He lets their foreheads rest against each other again as he pulls back, and gently tugs at Baekhyun’s ear, eyes sparkling in mischief. “Wanna go make out on the couch and traumatize Jongdae some more?” he says.

Baekhyun laughs, bright and unbidden, and grabs Kyungsoo’s face to kiss him again, because he’s so happy and so in love and he never thought he would be able to be here, like this, with him, but he is, and nothing could ever be better.

“Hell yes,” he says, after he’s had his fill of Kyungsoo’s lips, and climbs off the bed. He holds out his hand and Kyungsoo takes it, heart-shaped smile and maybe hearts in his eyes, too, with the way he’s looking at Baekhyun, like maybe he can’t believe they’ve gotten here too.

Baekhyun squeezes his hand, a wordless comfort, a silent promise, and heads for the door, heart warm with with the certainty that everything between them is going to be okay.

No, he amends, as Kyungsoo gently squeezes his fingers back, it’s going to be _great_.

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. baeksoo are stupid boys in love and i love them for it ok 
> 
> 2\. i don't really have anything else to say but i hope that u enjoyed this T__T
> 
> 3\. thank u for reading!!! have a gif ❤  
> 
> 
> pls come cry with me about baeksoo on [twitter](http://twitter.com/xingkais) | [ask.fm](http://ask.fm/koiyake) | [curiouscat](http://curiouscat.me/xingkais)


End file.
